The Good Thing About Bad Fanfiction

Okay, so, I was recently discussing with an eleven year old about good literature (she's my mini-me. I adore her. ♥), and while I was slightly annoyed that she is better read than I was at that age, it made me realize that people are losing their grip on literature.

This girl, who shall remain nameless, read 'The Color Purple', understood it, and enjoyed it despite it's darker moments. What was even more amazing is that it shocked me that she was so young and so into reading. Especially when the little eleven year old next to hear was like, "I hate reading and I hate writing."

I don't know if you know this about me, but I live to write. Seriously, that's all I ever do in my free time. Oh, and arrange music. But, that's not my point. Writing, and more particularly writing fanfiction, allows us to connect with what we've read, and helps us get a better understanding of the character's motives.

So, bad fanfiction is good. Why? Because those writers are at least attempting to connect with what they've just read.

Note: My Immortal doesn't count. Because the writer is obviously a troll.

Sometimes, being a LOST fan sucks

Okay, so I'm home sick because I spent too much time this weekend being out in the cold with wet hair. And then I saw that the Golden Globe list came out today. I was like, "Oh, this should be interesting."

This pretty much sums up how I feel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Yo5HKgAHI

Although, it's not as bad as I make it up to be. There are some pretty good nominations. Just...none for Lost. Although, is Lost still eligible because it ended in May 2010? I would think it would be, unless May was just too long ago for HFPA to remember. Which reminds me: I've been watching SO much 30 Rock while I've been sick, and I recently watched...well, whichever one it is that Jenna freaks out about having HFPA viewing Tracy's film.

I've also been watching the original Fullmetal Alchemist anime, and I'll get to that at the end, if I remember.

Okay. So Golden Globes! Ricky Gervais is hosting this year and let me just say this: Fuck.yeah. This is so beyond great that I can't even articulate it. Ohmygod. I know I said I'd never live blog again, but after learning that Ricky Gervais is hosting, I may even consider live blogging for the lulz. Awesome.

There's also (to my surprise although probably no one else's), the Social Network, and Jesse Eisenberg were nominated for Golden Globes as well. Actually, the entire 'Best Actor in a Drama' category is pretty lulzy. Ryan Gosling, James Franco, Mark Wahlberg and Colin Firth, in addition to one Mr. Jesse Eisenberg. Okay, so Colin Firth and Mark Wahlberg are fairly dramatic actors, for what it's worth. But this is the strangest collection of actors I have ever come across in my life.

LOLCHRISTIANBALEISNOMINATEDFORAGOLDENGLOBELOLOLOLOLOL.

Also: How To Train Your Dragon vs. Tangled vs Toy Story 3. That will be difficult. If you haven't seen any of these three movies yet, find a way to because they are fantastic. Also, The Illusionist is a movie that hasn't even come out yet. Congrats HFPA. Just when I think you can't go any lower, you do. Clap. Clap. (Point, point? :D) And then there's Despicable Me. But since it's not any of the three I mentioned above, it's not gonna win. I'm sorry.

Although, I think part of Toy Story 3's appeal is the nostalgia a majority of us have. We spent years attached to that film series. In fact, my age group (more particularly, kids 16-18)are getting ready for that first step off into college. Last June, I cleaned out my closet, and got rid of a bunch of old toys before seeing Toy Story 3. I was traumatized, to say the least. But they point is that we, like Andy, are growing up. And as Andy had to leave his crew of toys behind, so do we.

Excuse me, I need a tissue.

Okay, I'm back. Why does best comedy have six nominations, whereas best drama has five? I'm sorry, you couldn't just slip in Lost? [/embittered]

Yeah, I pretty much don't care after that. Enjoy your Golden Globes nominations, I'mma go take a nap.

NaNoWriMo...right.

So, I'm already three days behind on NaNoWriMo. I wrote 2.4k the first day, though I really should've written 3.2k so I'd be two days behind instead of three but I guess that can't really be changed.

After today, I was supposed to be at 6668 words, or about there. So, I bet you're wondering to yourself, "How are you gonna catch up on the words you missed?" That's a really good question.

I am going to describe the zombie Jesus out of every living thing I talk about. When my character is walking down the hallway, I will be writing what everyone is doing, what every locker looks like. It will be massive. It will be hard. It can be done.

I've been looking at some 'dirty' tricks to help get me through the process. I rather like some of them. And then others are just stupid. A stupid example would be replacing your character's name by giving them three extra names. So like "Anna" would be "Anna Sophia Maria".

I don't know why that was the first name to pop into my head. Then I saw a good one. Realistic conversation. You know when you're talking to someone and you made a mistake, and they're like, "Haha, you're so stupid?"

In novels, that doesn't really happen. Because, let's face it, the author can just go back and change it so that every dialogue exchange is perfect. I'm gonna try this. My character this year is such a dolt that this really shouldn't be a problem.

I just saw this one: If you're a student, write your essays for this month into your novel, it's not cheating seeing as you wrote it in November!

I've already written a Civil War essay and a paragraph for Psychology AND a journal for Economics. Hello 3k. It's nice to see you.

"Oh. It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know. After you murdered me. Okay. Look, we both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us...for science...you monster."

Look! Another 50 or so words! :D

At any rate, for those of you doing NaNoWriMo, good luck!

So...what is a Jellicle Cat again?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the songs I make reference to or link to. Happy?

So, I've watched the musical Cats about twenty thousand times in the past month or so, and I've decided that maybe I haven't been giving Cats enough credit. Literally, I'm just like, "What the fuck is this musical? What the fuck is a jellicle cat? Does thing even have a plot?"

I'll start by answering the last question: Yes and no. No, because if you ever try to describe this musical in a short amount of words, it's nearly next to impossible. Yes, because...well, it does have a plot. And a fairly interesting one at that. Though, some points are big let downs. Such as Macavity's entrance. Comes with one hell of a theme song, though. Though, as far as Macavity goes, I prefer this. He isn't much of a villain, though. Macavity spends the entire musical being alluded to, and then...well, nothing really happens except the big fight scene after the Macavity song. But Macavity never speaks. He just cackles. Okay, so back to the plot:

So, the notion is that there's a gathering of cats once a year. They're all Jellicle Cats. I'm not sure what a Jellicle Cat is, but ALW said that all cats are Jellicle Cats. Whatever. They all gather so that the leader of the Jellicle Tribe, Old Deuteronomy, can pick a cat that can be reborn. After that, you get a bunch of songs about certain Cats. And for whatever reason, they all hate Grizabella. Apparently, she's the group pariah/exile. She once belonged to the Jellicle tribe, she became a show cat ("glamour cat") who was eventually abandoned and left on the street. She cannot adjust to life as a stray, or rejoin the tribe. So she's an outcast who kind of haunts them. Apparently leaving the Tribe is some sort of blasphemy...so the Jellicle cats are scientologists?

Wow, that was a bad joke. Even for me. Sorry. We'll go back to the plot.

More than half these songs are useless. Seriously. They serve little to no purpose for the plot, but they are so damn catchy that you can't really hate them. Also, Gus the Theatre Cat makes me cry, but that's because of John Mills, who was about ninety something years old when they made this, and was essentially blind while filming.

Cats is also one of those musicals has that one song everybody knows (although, I'd really say three). If you cared enough to click on each link, you'll notice that the song from Cats hasn't been mentioned. I'm talking about Memory. There's a reason for this. Because two of the three times Grizabella shows up on stage, she sings a rendition of Memory. To be honest, I'm a bigger fan of the reprise. It's also the one I know better for some strange reason. Either way, it's a really sad song. It kinda makes me wish I was gonna be a cat for Halloween.

Also. Elaine Paige kills both versions. Really, she does. Also, the chick playing Jemima, (the cat who is singing at the very beginning of the reprise video) Veerle Casteleyn, is extremely talented, even as far as sopranos go.

The original Jemima, who also originated the role of Christine in Phantom of the Opera, Sarah Brightman, is also a talented soprano in her own right. You can attach her name to any musical, and I can guarantee you that people have tried to find a recording of her singing. Anyway, back to Cats.

Although, I feel like this musical is less known for it's music (as well known for the music as it is) and more for it's dancing. Seriously. No wonder Dame Judi Dench ruptured her Achilles' tendon. It's like dancing boot camp. You'd have to be in the greatest shape of your life to even keep up with the choreography, and then, you'd get even fitter from being in the damn musical.

Now, I'd say that Glee should do a cover of one of the songs that isn't Memory. For example...I'd say Puck as Rum Tum Tugger. Oh, God, that'd make me so happy. Glee kind of owes us after that Rocky Horror ep. And don't say that you don't, Glee writers, because transexuals do NOT come from sensational Transylvania. They come from transexual Transylvania. Every RHPS fan knows that.

And also? You owe us for the blantant misuse of Kurt's perfect Riff Raff. Don't believe me? Original. Kurt. Additionally, Quinn has Magenta's voice down to a science. It's beautiful. It makes me want to dress up as Magenta when I go see RHPS tomorrow.

That episode was good for one thing, though. Chord Overstreet is beautiful. I mean, he could stand to look a bit less by Justin Bieber. But he has got a body, that's for sure. Also, Santana singing the opening. That was great too.

So, that's pretty much all I have to say. Happy Halloween if I don't post before then! And I probably won't.

In Which I Discuss Things That I Was Actually Too Young To Remember Properly

So, this morning, the movie "Notorious" was on, and I decided to watch it because...well, I had heard about it once and then I never heard about it again. If, for whatever reason, you don't know what it's about, it's about the life of rapper Notorious B.I.G. And on some level, it's also about the East Coast-West Coast hiphop rivalry (because that was a huge part of B.I.G.'s life toward the end) that started in the early '90s, and ended with the murders of Tupac/2pac and Notorious B.I.G./Big Poppa/Biggie Smalls respectively.

As a small(er) child, I had three Notorious B.I.G. songs that were a part of my repertoire: Hypnotize, Juicy and Big Poppa. I also had one Tupac song that I knew pretty well, and know every word to now: Changes. I, for the life of me, cannot figure out how exactly it was I knew these songs, but I know 'em.

That's not really my point. I've spent basically my whole day listening to Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. And I've come to the decision that rap needs to turn around and look at these two. Because...there are no words to describe how great both of them are. As someone who, for the most part, greatly dislikes rap, I could easily listen to Biggie or Tupac at any point of the day. Tupac's voice, Biggie's storytelling...seriously, just pick one of their songs, any of their songs, and you'll find what I'm talking about.

However, this is lost on a lot of people, particularly YouTube commenters. If you look on videos, you'll see a lot of people commenting about who is better: Biggie or 2pac. Even then, sometimes you'll get names like Eminem and Justin Bieber (or as one YouTube commentator called him, Justin Beaver) thrown in their, leaving people to just be like "WHAT?" but for the most part, a lot of it is still that East/West Coast rivalry.

It's messed up. Especially because the reason both Biggie and 2pac are dead is because of this stupid rivalry. I mean, it's stupid in my opinion, and there's no reason to dredge it up.

The sad thing is, this all could've been prevented. Maybe not the entire conflict, but the specific tensions between 2pac and Biggie. Perhaps, they could've even come together for a song when shit got rough, and perhaps settled the whole dispute without either of them dying and depriving the world of good rap.

There was a HUGE PR mistake that Bad Boy Records (the record company of Notorious B.I.G) made. Biggie released a single in '94, when 2pac was shot in NY called "Who Shot Ya". This led people to believe that Biggie had something to do with attack on 2pac. So then, 2pac released a single in retaliation, 'Hit 'Em Up'. I'm not gonna lie, both are mad catchy and I listen to both.

Just think about it. If they hadn't released this song as a single, if they had just decided to cut it in light of what happened...well, maybe it wouldn't have changed the eventual outcome, but maybe the entire rivalry between 2pac and Biggie wouldn't exist. Just a thought.

If you're interested in the East Coast-West Coast hiphop rivalry, look here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Coast%E2%80%93West_Coast_hip_hop_rivalry#Background

I know it's been 13-14 years, since the deaths of Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac, respectively, but still. Rap lost a lot when the world lost them. R.I.P. <3

In Which I Was Silenced By the Man!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any songs I make reference or link to.

Previously, on Blaire's blog...

There was a Glee post. About the Gaga episode and the Brittany episode. And Blogger took that shit down.

Like...the FUCK? Apparently, I can look up who sent the complaint (there was some violation of DMCA in me using the vids I guess, I don't really know) and all that jazz, but I absolutely cannot be fucked to look it up.

I'm enraged! I worked SO hard on that post. And, whoever complained, who the fuck do you think you are to get my work regaled to 'draft' status?

So, apparently, if you say anything bad about Glee, you get silenced. Yeah, okay. Fuckers.

Why did my shit get taken down, anyway? It's not like I'm making any money/page views off this blog. Is it because I didn't make a disclaimer? Because I've linked to vids in the past, and I've put a disclaimer on the top of the post. And wouldn't it just be safe to assume that I don't own the damn material anyway? Really.

Also: Chilling Effects? Your site is too damn complicated to figure out. Apparently, I have to register that a notice was sent out or whatever. I'm not doing it. I'll just stay silenced. Whatever.

Okay, I'm gonna post a link to a song that I very much like, after putting a disclaimer at the top of this post! Enjoy!

In Which Things Confound Me...Or A Ramble On Musicals

Okay, so I have this friend who lives in New Joisey. And she told me for their school play, they're doing "Fiddler On the Roof". Now, for those of you who how somehow been living under a rock and don't know what that is, Fiddler is...okay. You know A Very Potter Musical?

Well, this is A Very Jewish Musical. Seriously. Look at the plot description. So, anyway, my friend goes to a Catholic High School. Uniforms and all. And my first reaction was, "WHAT THE FUCK? WHY CAN'T WE DO FIDDLER?"

We're doing 'Into the Woods' by Stephen Sondheim, which I (un)affectionately call, "Into the freaking Woods". Because Sondheim is a bitch to sing/play. Seriously. Listen to this, this, and this. Those are, if you're too lazy to look Comedy Tonight from A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum (which is HILARIOUS, by the way) as sung by Nathan Lane, A Little Priest from Sweeney Todd as sung by George Hearn and Angela Lansbury, and Send in the Clowns from A Little Night Music, as sung by Ruthie Henshall.

Now, Sondheim sounds very simple to sing. But that's the beauty of Sondheim. When done right, it seems effortless. When done poorly, it's a big fucking mess. Sondheim also writes the prettiest scores, with the catchiest melodies. C'mon. Tell me that Comedy Tonight isn't stuck in your head. And if it isn't, it soon will be. By the way, I'm not responsible whatever nightmares these reject Muppets induce. :D

Sondheim is also responsible for a song which I've mentioned once already. And that's Rose's Turn, as well as the rest of Gypsy. Sondheim is also responsible for West Side Story (although, I think he was just a producer on that one). So, yeah, Sondheim is a genius.

Now, speaking of Glee songs, I was watching Ruthie Henshall sing 'Maybe This Time', and I feel like I have to mention another fabulous Broadway person, who I think is dead now actually. Bob Fosse. I just checked Wikipedia...yes, he is dead. Wow, he died awhile ago. Like, before I was born. Anyway, Bob Fosse was known probably less known for his music, and more for his choreography.

Examples? Chicago, The Pajama Game, Damn, Yankees!, Cabaret (the movie, not the original musical), and All That Jazz. All of these are well known for their intensive choreography. Especially Chicago and Damn, Yankees!. We could never do a Bob Fosse musical at our school for two reasons.

The first being it's too risque. The second being we don't have many dancers. XDD

Yeah, this is pretty much all I gotta say. Musicals are awesome. I wish people appreciate them more.

In Which I Was Kate Winslet

...for all of five seconds.

Let me explain. So today was the "Swim For Life" which is a swim across the Hudson River, raising funds for Leukemia and Lymphoma. It was 65 degrees outside. And windy and cloudy. In the water? 72 degrees. Which, sounds warm but isn't.

A 'cold' pool will be about 80 degrees. Comfortable bathtub water is about 96 degrees. Scalding hot bathtub water is about 104 degrees. How do I know this? Well, pools have thermometers, but I had this little toy boat that had a thermometer and I used to take the temperature of my baths.

Not my point. Any water that is below 70 degrees is considered hypothermic, according to the boat captain that pulled me out of the water (I'll get to that in a minute. According to Wikipedia "Water at a temperature of 26 °C (79 °F) will, after prolonged exposure, lead to hypothermia." I don't doubt it. That water was cold, and it was 72 degrees. As I told one of my friends, "It was like the fucking Titanic", hence why I was Kate Winslet for all of five seconds.

So, I got in the water at about nine-thirty this morning, with just the instruction to follow the buoys, and that they would guide me through the current. Now, Usually this advice works, and swimmers aren't supposed to go straight across because then you end up fighting the current through a lot of it.

Not this year. This year was the exact opposite. The people who just went straight across had an easier time of it than those who followed the buoys. I followed the buoys as best I could. But the wind was so bad that it made the water really rough and choppy, making it hard to swim through. It made me nauseous, and I never get seasick. I can still taste Hudson River water when I sniffle.

As I was passing the sixth or seventh buoy, the volunteer firefighters of the town I live in's boat (yes, the volunteer firefighters had a boat) told me they were rounding up all the swimmers because we had gotten so spread out through the river. Additionally, there were some people who were starting to suffer from hypothermia. Like this one guy on my boat had to be taken back because he was so cold and they were afraid he would come down with hypothermia.

The boat captain looked a little bit like that guy from Titanic. He gave me a huge jacket (an XXL) to wear. It was quite cozy, and I hung out on the boat with some old people, all of whom were extremely impressed that I had swam across the river six times. The boat crew dropped us off right one buoy before the finish line, so that we could finish with some dignity.

I have never been so cold in my life. My toenails were blue. I was freezing. The first thing I did when I got home was get the shower as hot as it could go and I took a shower. I found seaweed in my hair. I don't even know how that happened.

Alas, there was no Leo DiCaprio to my Kate Winslet, although I will say that there were some very cute guys there. Moral of the story is? I'm not doing that again. It's nice to help people, but there's kind of a limit.

I don't really have anything to say...

I just got home from lunch with some friends (like you care). So...here's Craig Ferguson! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpplZus7hPg&feature=related

If you don't think it's funny...well, I can respect that but Craig Ferguson is one of my favorite late night comedians.

Help a Sistah Out!

My friend Nathalie's mom has been having some rough times, and Natz has asked her friends to give her inspirational quotes. Like, happy inspirational quotes.

I have been doing as well as I can, but I could use the help of you fine people! If you wanna submit to her directly, here's her Tumblr. The first post explains it better than I can: http://with-all-my-love.tumblr.com/


Or, you can suggest quotes in the comments, and I can pass 'em on directly. Either way, I'm rallying for your support!

Also, York College of PA sent me a 'Preferred Student Application' yesterday. I feel wanted. And I don't need rubber bands anymore! Instead, the put new, tighter brackets on my teeth in a desperate attempt to get my teeth together. I told my orthdontist that he had until June to get my braces off. He said he'd try. I said he didn't have a choice.

Emmy Reflections-In Which Lost Wins An Award That I'd Never Expect

So...the day after the Emmys. Some of you are hungover, some of you are embittered, some of you are perfectly conect, and some of you didn't even realize the Emmys were on last night.

Now, I have to correct a few things before I start. The first is that my dear friend was correct in her comment. The JoBro that I got that really stalkerish close up picture of is in fact Kevin, and not Joe. It has since been corrected in my post.

The other correction I have to make is that Lost, did in fact, win an Emmy. And it also won some other awards, such as the TCA (Television Crtics Association) Award for "Oustanding Achievement in Drama". Although, I don't know if that applies for Season 5, or Season 6. I will just have to find now.

Now, I bet you're asking yourselves, "Well, what Emmy did Lost win? It certainly wasn't Primetime." And you'd be correct. Lost won an Emmy for Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing for a Drama Series. Join me when I say, "WTF?"

As Lost's only Emmy win, this also means Michael Giacchino lost. Who the fuck did he lose to? I-oh. He lost to Sean Callery for 24. Okay. I'm trying really hard, but I can't be upset about that. Actually, I think this was 24's only win in its final season.

If I didn't love 24's score as much as I did, this would be an outrage.

Okay. Back to more reflecting. The night didn't turn out quite like I had wanted it to. At all. But I think that's more in part to the fact that I am a biased Lost fan.

But that doesn't really change the fact that it was boring as hell. When I get a host for an awards show, I expect to be entertained, DAMN IT! Everytime Jimmy Fallon popped up with that fucking guitar, I cringed and proceeded to weep.

It is my personal belief that Stephen Colvert needs to host the Emmys. That is all I have to say on the matter.

EMMY LIVE BLOG-In which everything I guess is wrong.

Okay. So I started a little late on the Emmy live blog. This starts right after the opening number. Jimmy Fallon isn't funny. I dislike him intensely and this song he's singing with Amy Poheler isn't funny.

Okay, so there's a comedy montage going on right now...I'm laughing at some of these things, but not many. I didn't realize Nurse Jackie was a comedy. I mean, I knew that, but...it doesn't seem like it.

OMG. THE SAFETY DANCE. "ICON. NOCON." That's kinda funny. And then there's Kenneth...oh, Kenneth.

Live blogging is harder than I thought it would be.

Jon Hamm and Betty White are announcing the first category. Wow, Betty White is OLD, man. And there's some innuendos. They're not very good together. Actually, I don't know what the big deal is about Betty White.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy is up first...GO NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! And the Emmy goes to Eric Stonestreet (am I spelling that right?). My first reaction is WHO? But that's because I've never seen Modern Family. But I heard he was great.

Aw, he wanted to be a clown when he grew up. That's creepy. Jesse TYler Ferguson is crying! Awww, that's kind of adorable. Obligatory writers nod...obligatory parent nod. His mom is there...aww, everybody's crying. The time is 8:14 and we're at our first commercial break!

Of course. There's gonna be a lot of these. Like one after every category. It's an awards show. OH HEY. THE APPRENTICE. I remember when we watched it after the Apprentice Projec in 8th grade. Good times.

I don't know who this commentator is...segue to Jimmy Fallon. Now Jim Parsons and Sofia Verablahblahlah. MORE INNUENDOS.

Writing for a comedy series...30 Rock (FOR ANNA HOWARD SHAW DAY), The Office, Another 30 Rock episode, the Glee pilot, Modern Family (Christopher Lloyd writes for that show?)

Wait, who the fuck just won? I can't understand her...WAIT. I think it's Modern Family. Yes, it's Modern Family. The just mentioned Christopher Lloyd. Okay, he's talking...I really hate award speeches. They're kinda boring. This guy isn't making me laugh. AND SOFIA BLAHBLAHBLAH RUINED MY THEORY.

OMG. STEPHEN COLBERT! STEPHEN! STEPHEN! I LOVE YOU STEPHEN! Where is Jon Stewart though? OMG. John Travolta, Tom Hanks and Dustin Hoffman in one joke. That man is an American treasure.

Outstanding by Supporting Actress in A Comedy...Julie Bowen, Jane from 30 Rock, Jane from Glee, Sofia LadyGaga, Kristin Wig, and some chick whose name I missed. THE EMMY GOES TO JANE LYNCH.

This...surprises ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Her speech is surpisingly enough emotional, but funny. She's so speechless, it's surprising, when you think about her character. AWW, CHRIS COLFER. Lea Michele is crying tooo!

Okay, we're at 8:26 and we're at the second commercial break. There's an Oprah commercial. I can't believe her show is ending. Like...it's been around forever.

My viewing partner did not know that there was a Daytime Emmys program. I shake my head in disgust. I mean, I guess I can't really blame him but it's really...abysmal. I'm sorry. Well, now you know.

Omg. There's a fucking pen commercial on. Like what the hell. Betty White is gonna be on Community.

Okay, we're back and it's 8:30. Matthew Perry and Lauren Graham (?). Jimmy Fallon just did a degrees of separation thing. I hate awards banter. I hate awards show banter so much.

Guest actors/actresses in a comedy. We know that NPH won for Glee and Betty White won for SNL. Like, neither was a surprise.

Comedy Directing...HEY, IT'S BRITT BRITT. Okay. WHAT? Ryan Murphy won for the Glee pilot? UMM, WHAT? I AM AGHAST AND CONFUSED AND ANGERED. Oh wait. But he's dedicating his award to his teachers. Damn you, Ryan Murphy.

Uggh, Family Guy/Modern Family crossover. Modern Family in 3D...this is kind of ridiculous. AHA. GEORGE CLOONEY ON MODERN FAMILY. I'd be okay with it. Even though I've never seen it. I just kinda like George Clooney.

Eva Longoria Parker and some guy from NCIS. I think that's LL Cool J?

Lead Actor in a comedy. EVERY ACTOR IS ALEC BALDWIN'S BITCH. Or...Jim Parsons. Like...the fuck? Okay, my Emmy predictions suck tonight. And I'm not happy with this at all. Like, really? WHAT? My wrist really hurts right now. I'm having sooo much trouble writing right now. I can't believe I wanted to live blog this. This better end on time. I can't do this for three hours.

JEWEL? WHAAAT?

OKAY. Commercial break. The time 8:40.

Wait. Kristen Chenowith and Kristen Bell in the same movie. YES. PLEASE. Okay, back to my break.

And I'm back.

Neil Patrick Harris is presenting the award for something. He's a beautiful man. I love him. He's so snarky. :)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy...GO TINA FEY! BOO LEA MICHELE. Okay, not boo. But...don't win Lea Michele. Okay, Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie (which I still can't believe is a comedy but whatever). I hear she's hilarious on that show.

"I'm not funny." You seem hilarious, Edie Falco. My viewing partner has just made a Kanye West joke on behalf of Tina Fey. Lovely. Wow, Edie, calm it down. You don't need to thank everyone and their mother. Wait, did you evn thank your own mother? I wasn't paying attention.

They're hanging out by the Lost cast and singing. I thought there were gonna be some jibes about the show...Okay, it's time for a reality montage. Probably will feature Kate Gosselin dancing. There's an Addiction clips. There's two. Oh, wow...I think this music from The Land Before Time.

OMG WHATCHA SAY FROM SYTYCD. JAKOB KARR. ONE SYTYCD CLIP? CHEAP. No Kate Gosselin dancing, either? For shame.

Will Arnett and Keri Russel are presenting the next award! They're doing a show together. I don't know if I wanna see it. Okay, Best Reality Program. My money's on Amazing Race because that shit always wins.

TOP CHEF WINS. TOP CHEF WINS. HOLY SHIT. THAT'S AMAZING. Okay, this speech is long. They're playing the music to kick them off. I'm so happy.

The time is 8:51 and there's another commercial break. My viewing partner is doing a wonderful impersonation of Oprah right now. It's lulzy. And amazing. Okay, I'm taking another break because I don't type right on laptops and it's hurting my wrist.

8:56, and we're back. OHNOES. NOT THE ACCOUNTANTS. ANYTHING BUT THE GODDAMN ACCOUNTANTS. FUUUCCCKKKKKKK. NOT THESE SPEECHES. NOT AGAIN.

Wait. There's another song coming on. Hahaha "I cried when they announced you as the host."

Okay, we're onto a drama montage. Lots of guns. Grey's? I forgot that was a drama too. OMG. MCDREAMY GOT SHOT? OMG. DEXTER. I LOVE DEXTER.

Criminal Minds. Law And Order: SVU. Mad Men. House. Oh wow, House is an addict now? Friday Night Lights looks intense. The Good Wife? I don't like it. I saw one episode and I was like this is shit.

True Blood. NCIS. Drama is dramatic. AWW, I CRIED SO HARD AT THIS PART IN 24. Damages is still on? Breaking Bad. OMG LOST. I CRIED SUCH BITCH TEARS DURING THAT FINALE.

Detectives Stabler and Benson! YAAAAAAYYY! MARISKA HARGITAY. Some promotion for cancer...aww, there's crying.

Award for outstanding writing a drama series.

THe Good Wife, Mad Men, Friday Night Lights, Mad Men, Lost...I'd say FNL or Lost. Or either Mad Men episode. I almost don't care. Just not the Good Wife.

Mad Men! Oh no...this is clearly isn't going to be the "Everybody Loves Raymond" syndrome, as I previously anticipated. Damn.

Okay. Supporting Actor. GO MICHAEL EMERSON. I love you Terry O'Quinn, but not enough. Aaron Paul! I almost guessed that. There was a huge cheer when his name went up. I'm kind of disappointed. I really love the Lost boys...that means all the acting hopes rest on Mattew Fox. So, I can just throw my Lost hopes out the window right now. Really, I can.

More Kerri Russel and Will Arnett. OMG. MICHAEL C HALL. PLEASE WIN.

9:05. I'm taking another break. I break during every commercial break. That's the only way I can rest in these three hours. This show is going by pretty quickly, IMO.

Emily Deschenel and Nathan Fillion (Fillon?). Outstanding supporting actress...I don't care. But I'm gonna say Christina Hendricks or Elizabeth Moss. Probably-wait. What is this chicks name? Archie Punjablasso? What?

Okay. Her name is Archie Panjabi. Oh wow. I was close. I like her voice. I could sit and listen to her read the phonebook.

Edie Falco with the next award! Outstanding Lead Actor. I love Matthew Fox, but you aren't winning. It's going to Bryan Cranston, Michael C. Hall or Jon Hamm. Bryan Cranston. I called it. Sorry, M Fox. Don't worry. I still love you and I believe that waking up to your voice is the most glorious thing ever.

Bryan Cranston seems like a nice guy. Aww, his daughter and wife are very very very pretty. Well, I guess if you were the offspring of Bryan Cranston, you'd be pretty too.

Okay. 9:15. Another break. Thank goodness. I'm getting kind of tired and I'm starting to question why I thought this would be a good idea. Although, I must say? We are just barreling through these categories, and it's making everything easier. Or maybe because I'm trying to keep up with it that it seems like it's going so fast.

9:19 and we're back, biatches. Okay. Guest Actor and Guest Actress. Ann-Margret and...John Lithgow won for this. I'm really really really disappointed that Elizabeth Mitchell didn't win. Juliet was my favorite character.

Okay, Ann-Margret and John Lithgow are presenting a directing award. Ann-Margret looks a bit like Charo. Steve Shill looks like Adam Shankman. Okay, I know Lost isn't winning...yup, it's Steve Shill aka Adam Shankman. WAIT. HE'S A DEXTER DIRECTOR. OKAY. I'M DUMB. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

George Clooney in 17 minutes, says the TV. A musical tribute to the three shows ending done by Elton John. Omg, this is actually hilarious. And we're only on 24. DAVID PALMER. :D Good times, man.

Jimmy Fallon is doing Law and Order. I loved Law and Order. I loved Jesse L. Martin. I'm actually really sad that Law and Order is ending.

OMG. LOST. LOST. LOST. I'm obsessed, how could you tell? Wait, I think these are all Jimmy Fallon. He just did a really good Matthew Fox impersonation. Omg, I'm really enjoying this parody.

HEY! IT'S SYTYCD HOST CAT DEELEY IN THE AUDIENCE! Okay, so it's 9:27, and I'm gonna drink some hot chocolate. Yay!!

I'm back. It's like 9:30ish. Matthew Morrison and Tina Fey (I wrote that as Tiny Fay) as first. Oustanding Drama Actress. And of course, there are more innuendos.

I WANT JANUARY JONES TO WIN. Because she has a cool name. And also, because I think she should win. Kyra Sedwick won...okay. From now on, if I predict something is going to win, chances are it's not. Like, seriously. I used to have a flare for this sort of thing and now I just suck. Kyra Sedwick loves to talk...seriously.

She's done.

OMG. THAT FUCKING GUITAR. WAIT. STEPHEN COLBERT. YAY. LOVE. Variety programming. I really don't like all the singing. All I have to say for this is: GO COCO!
Pmg. Jon Stewart is hilarious. And Stephen Colbert.

OMG. RHAPSODY IN BLUE! That's actually amazing. Like...that was lovely.

Okay. Writing for a Variety Show. The Academy Awards, Bill Maher, The Kennedy Center Honors (what?), the Tonys, Wanda Sykes (she's hilarious. I love her). It went to the Tonys, which apparently have been around longer than the Emmys. Who knew?

"Not I!" said Steve Carrell. What was that? 2007 Emmys? Does anyone remember? Okay, I'm an hour and fourty minutes in, at the moment. WOW. I'M MORE THAN HALF WAY DONE. WHOOO. Just letting you know, never doing this again.

9:41. A break. Whoohoo. Oh no. We're going into the montage of the dead people after this commercial break. I might just cry.

9:45 and we're back. RICKY GERVAIS. I hope he hosts the Golden Globes. He's so funny. Aha, he's giving out free alcoholic drinks to the audience.

Directing for Variety. And I don't care. But Ricky Gervais seems really really really excited about this dude for some reason. Okay, he directed the opening ceremony for the 2010 Olympics...wow, that was pretty. Yeah, he definitely deserved to win. 3000 people worked for NBC on the Olympics?

Wow. That's a lot. OOH. RICKY'S GONNA TALK AGAIN.

Best Variety Show? Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Bill Maher, SNL, COCO'S SHOW...and GOd, I miss Coco. I miss Coco so much. I loved that show.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart! He's hilarious. And apparently Team Jacob. Oh, he couldn't be here tonight because of...some reason. That's sad. No wonder there was no Colbert/Stewart skit-ish.

9:54. Another break. We're coming toward the end here, I think. I mean, Variety is done, Comedy is basically done, as is Drama, Reality is done...There are five categories/parts I think they said? I dunno. But it's almost ten so...yeah.

Boardwalk Empire looks like an amazing show.

9:58. We're back again. Okay, so the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award is going to George Clooney. So, I'm gonna go to the bathroom during George Clooney's speech. I mean, I love George Clooney and everything but...I can't wait to till the next commercial break. I'll be back.

10:01. He hasn't even started speaking yet. He just made some not funny joke about being sick. A little tactless, considering Michael C. Hall is there. Oh wow, this isn't a funny speech. But, it's a very moving speech. My viewing partner is currently giggling at something that ISN'T funny.

George Clooney just told us we failed. And that he failed. This is an incredibly moving speech. And he got cut off mid speech. OMG. THAT FUCKING GUITAR.

Oh wait, Mini-Series and Movies. I totally forgot about this. Harrison Ford thinks losing is not an option. Nelson Mandela must be released. Temple is autstic. The moon is goregeous. Euthanizing is bad. Georgia O'Keefe is something. The Pacific and one that I missed are dramatic.

There's crying.

January Jones and John Krasinski. There could not be two more random people to give this award. January Jones's dress is UGLY. It ain't got no alibi. It's ugly. It's ugly.

Suporting Actress. I say Cathrine O'Hara. And I was wrong. SHOCKER. Julie Ormand wins. My viewing buddy is singing about raccoons. Julie Ormand is trying to thank her competitors. My viewing buddy is singing a nameless tune and I wonder what being an Emmy model is like.

And Julie Ormand is getting the "get the hell off the stage" music. Okay, and we're back on break. The time is 10:10. NBC is pushing a lot of pilots. Probably because a lot of their shows are failling.

I wonder how long this blog post is...we're back. The time is 10:14. Claire Danes...she's come a long way. She looks a lot like Heidi Klum right now. Supporting Actor.

Any of these actors can win. Seriously. David Strath...something or other won for Temple Grandin. Temple Grandin looks really good. I really want to see it now. Some guy in the audience is wearing some MJ esque getup. Aww, see, why isn't Hollywood so involved with Autism awareness? That's what I don't get.

Okay. The dead montage. I'm going to cry now. I don't know who this is. I kinda sounds like Kristen Chenowith...but I have a feeling some of my savvier friends are going to hit me upon reading this post.

ROY DISNEY DIED? SOUPY SALES DIED? JEAN SIMMONS DIED? PETER GRAVES DIED? ROPERT CULP DIED? I think I've been living under a rock. Corey Haim. DD8 My viewing partner doesn't know who he is.

John Forsythe died? AM I JUST STUPID OR LIVING UNDER A ROCK? I think it's some combination of the two. DIXIE CARTER DIED? LYNN REDGRAVE DIED? LENA HORNE DIED. Aww, Dennis Hopper. :(

I am proud of myself for not crying. The time is 10:21. I'm taking another break to recollect myself.

10:25. Oh wait. That was Jewel.

Next is a writing award.

The Pacific, The Pacific, The Special Relationship, Temple Grandin, You Don't Know Jack...probably the-you know what? Nevermind. I keep being wrong. Okay, You Don't Know Jack won. Now, I just have to wonder if they're behind schedule. Supposedly, there's half an hour left. Supposedly. Aww, I think he just mentioned a dead person, but I wasn't paying attention.

LEAD ACTRESS. I say Claire Danes. Because...well, it's kinda obvious. OMG. I WAS RIGHT. WAIT A SECOND. IS SHE DATING ORLANDO BLOOM? DID SHE JUST LOCK LIPS WITH ORLANDO BLOOM?

"Lyke 4 srs". Claire Danes actually just said that. Wow, I can't believe this is Beth from Little Women. It doesn't sound like her. Oh wait. That's Temple wearing the MJ esque get up. Aww, now I feel bad for insulting her. MY BAD. Okay, we're over by...26 minutes. Or seconds. One of those two.

10:34. We're back from another break. The cast of True Blood. A show that I've never seen. Directin, now.

Georgia O'Keefe, The Pacific, The Pacific, Temple Grandin, You Don't Know Jack...I'mma say You Don't Know Jack. OMG. HOW AM I WRONG AGAIN? I give up with these speeches. Because they're all to Temple which is nice.

Ricky Gervais's beer was non alcholic.

OMG. Lead Actor. Let's go. AL PACINO. YAAAAY! I didn't call that one because I didn't have time. My viewing buddy's computer is infected. Al Pacino CLEARLY doesn't have a speech and he looks like Robert Downey Jr. in Sherlock Holmes at the moment. And it's so hard to tell that he was ever Michael Corleone. At least, he doesn't look like he did in '72. '71?

10:41. Another commercial. I don't see how we're gonna be done in 19 minutes. It's not happening. Also, The Event looks sucky and I see Graham Bauer.

Laurence Fishburne. Outstanding Miniseries is being announced.

I say The Pacific. I WAS RIGHT. GLORY HALLELUJAH. My viewing partner just did a lovely Forrest Gump impersonation.

Made for TV Movie. Hasn't the Georgia O'Keefe movie been on for years? I say Temple Grandin...WOW. TWO IN A ROW. HOLY SHIT. IF I GET EVERYTHING RIGHT FROM HERE ON OUT I WILL BE SHOCKED.

Okay. Thank you, Hollywood, for addressing the fact that autism is an issue that needs to be addressed. Outstanding Drama Series in 1 minute (according to the TV). Aww, it's Temple's birthday! That's adorable! Oh wait, they're playing the "get the hell off of the stage music".

LAST TWO AWARDS OF THE NIGHT. OW OW. Tom Selleck is presenting the award for Best Drama. Now, I hope with my entire that Lost will win. But I know it won't. I know it won't. And I graciously admit that Lost won't win.

I say Breaking Bad or Mad Men will win. So...yeah. Mad Men. Lost bows out of its final, fantastic season, without any Emmy to it's name whatsoever. And I am a very embittered Lost fan. Whatever. Not paying attention to the speech anymore.

So, apparently it IS 26 seconds that we were overboard. I'm okay with that. UGGH. JANUARY JONES'S DRESS IS SO UGLY.

10:52. Another commercial break. I'm gonna be very bitter for a little bit about Lost not winning. But I guess the impact of the finale was Lost on people that don't watch it, which I assume is most of the Academy. Or, many Lost fans were pissed about how it ended without answering so many questions. Either way...I don't think I've ever heard of a show in it's final season NOT wining everything. Well, this is now the "Lost" syndrome.

I had a feeling this was coming when Elizabeth Mitchell didn't win for best guest actress. She was fantastic. I loved every minute she was on screen.

10:56. Last award of the night. And the last announcer is...who? I'm confused. Okay, I say Modern Family. I do. That would also make me our in a row.

OMG. I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT NEARLY EVERYTHING WRONG UNTIL THE VERY END. This is so unreal!

I'd like to thank the Academy for giving me precognative skills. It's 10:57, and I'm not listening to this final speech.

PEACE! I'm not doing this again!

In which I concede defeat to Nick Jonas, and Japanese Eponines are better than the English ones...

For those of you who know me well-enough to hear my real-life exploits, I recently went to a Jonas Brothers concert. Well, it was more than a concert. It was a sound-check, a meet and greet, and a concert.

It was so much fun. And honestly, for all the negativity I had toward them prior to this concert, they aren't that bad. I believe a lot of the negativity toward them is more centered toward their alignment with Disney.

They can't change this, however. And honestly, I don't think they should. Because, as we've all seen, bad things happen to people who start with Disney, and then try to leave. The only exception of this rule, I think is Justin Timberlake. And Nick Jonas, who has a solid career on Broadway and another band. Or at least, I think it's another band. The Administration I think is also his, or he's a part of it because he has a twitter for news for The Administration. [/I am not a freaky stalker]

Okay. Now that I put that disclaimer, I now have to quote the first thing that popped into my head when I wrote that. "I AM NOT A FREAKY FISH GUY!"

Obscure reference out of the way. Back to Disney.

So. My theory that people who try to leave Disney are kinda sorta screwed. Exhibits A-C: Brittney Spears, Christina Agulera (or however the fuck you spell her last name), and Lindsey Lohan.

Exhibit A: Was a former Mousketer (is that how you spell that?). She leaves Disney, and becomes successful for the late part of the 90s/early part of the 00s. And then shit hits the fan. We're all familiar with Brittney's exploits over the past couple of years. Need I say more?

Exhibit B: Was also a former Mouseketer (again, cbf to spell). Now, Christina is actually not that bad in terms of what happened to her, and the only thing she's having trouble with is relaunching her career. She's tried several times, and I consider every time a smashing success because I love her and a lot of the songs she puts out. Candyman? Aint No Other Man? Hurt?

Love her. But my point is, she was with Disney, and now she can't keep her music career afloat.

Exhibit C: Lindsay Lohan. Need I really say more? She went from this, a bright, innocent girl whose claim to fame was Parent Trap, a Disney movie and she was much beloved. From there, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (is that what that movie's called or am I mixing it up with Confessions of a Shopaholic?), and Herbie: Fully Loaded. Both which were Disney movies. And yes, she did other movies, but when I think Lindsay Lohan, those are the first three I think of.

But then she turned into this. Again, Lindsay is another one whose exploits are well-known by pop culture loving America. After she tried to leave Disney.

People are starting to say that Miley Cyrus will head down this course. Miley's strings with Disney are loose at best. We will just have to see what she looks like in five years. Although...after seeing the 'Can't Be Tamed' music video, I'm worried.

Do with these facts what you will. Jonas Brothers, STAY THE COURSE!

Now, I'm gonna go to the first part of my title for this blog post. That's right, Nick Jonas. I concede defeat. You are, in my eyes, an acceptable Marius. Actually, you're beyond acceptable.

Wait. I have to correct a mistake I made in one of my earlier blog posts. I said that the 25th Anniversary Concert CD would be made available for purchase. I mistook it for the 25th Anniversary World Tour. As far as I know (read: according to Wikipedia) there are no plans to make a 25th Anniversary Concert CD at the moment. Sorry about that.

Back to Nick Jonas. Why am I conceding defeat to Nick Jonas? Well...I have two reasons actually. The first is this. Are you done listening? Did you really expect that from Nick Jonas? I certainly didn't! As far as Marius goes, I think he's got the role down pat. He's no David Bryant, but that's because I'm biased.

So, Nick Jonas? I apologize for assuming your casting was just a publicity thing. I didn't realize you were actually talented.

The second reason is because of something I saw when I met him in person at the meet and greet. I asked him what it was like to be in Les Miserables. And he smiled at me (it was an open mouthed smile!), and a light went on his eyes. I would just like to say that this is impressive because Nick Jonas never smiles. Somebody told me it was because he hates the way his teeth look. I feel kinda bad for the poor kid.

Anyway, I saw how much Les Miserables meant to him. It was...that look in his eyes, that pride, and that sense of accomplishment that Les Miserables was something he did without his brothers, without Disney, just him. I also think part of the reason he smiled was that I didn't ask him to marry me.

SPEAKING OF JOBROS OBSESSION. When we were at the meet and greet, the dancers from Camp Rock 2 were there, and I saw Allyson Stoner and she did the 'Mike's Super Short Show' thing and it was awesome. Also, there was this girl who was asking Frankie Jonas a question and she was actually hyperventilating and couldn't spit the words out. And Frankie just stood their with this "WTF?" look plastered all over his face. I wish I had a picture.

I do have an awesome picture of Kevin, though. It was a proud, picture-taking moment for me. Wanna see?



I have all sorts of really creepy, up close pictures of them from the sound check. I wish I had been that close during the concert, although I had a feeling I would've gone deaf. The screaming was just completely unreal.

Okay. Now to the second part of my post, which is relatively short in comparison. Now, I bet you're thinking to yourselves, "Now, why are Japanese Eponines better than the English ones"? I'll tell you.

Okay, I actually don't know. But, on Tuesday, I bought the Complete Symphonic Recording of Les Miserables, which was done in 1988, and complies some great actors and come I couldn't care less for (I'm look at you, Gary Morris and Michael Ball!), all from international productions of Les Mis that were playing at the time.

The Eponine in this particular version is some chick by the name of Kaho Shimada, who was in the Tokyo Production at some point. I don't think I'm supposed to know who that is. Now, apparently, she learned English just so she could do this recording. It doesn't show. Okay, it kinda shows, but I think she's significantly better than Frances Ruffelle from the Original Broadway Cast.

Decide for yourself.

However, my personal favorite is Lea Salonga, who was Eponine (if you do decide to watch the link, BRACE YOURSELF for the loud introduction of the barricade) in the 1995 Dream Cast Concert. You probably know her better as Mulan's singing voice. She's my favorite.

Oh yeah. As a Glee fan, I probably should count Lea Michele's rendition in there somewhere. First, I have to find a version of her that's not from Glee just because the interspersed dialogue ruins the song in my eyes.

Y'know, God Bless crazy obsessed fans that post videos on YouTube. Lea Michele is a talented actress. Just...not a talented TV actress. I can't really figure out how that makes sense, since I think stage acting is so much harder (like I'd have any experience otherwise?)...but whatever. The Emmys are on tomorrow-wait. It's Sunday. OMG THEY'RE ON TONIGHT.

Right, so Lea Michele. Umm, she's good. Like, she's really talented. See? See how talented she is? I was just about to make another reference to Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, but where I was going...it just sounded really creepy.

Well, that's pretty much all I have to say except...VIVA LA TEAM COCO!

Have fun watching the Emmys tonight, kids! PEACE.

PS> Mia Michaels did the Emmy Award for Outstanding Choreography. Elizabeth Mitchell did not win. Rage will ensue tomorrow/later tonight.

I think we can put our differences behind us...for science...you monster.

This has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm about to talk about. Although I will say this: the Portal 2 trailer scares me. But in an awesome way. And I have to wonder how GLADoS is still alive after all that.

Well, really, you only destroyed her morality core, her curiousity core, some other cores that I don't remember the names of. In essence, you destroy her personality, but that doesn't really destroy her, you know what I'm saying?

Anyway, it's late, and I just finished my AP Psych project. I really don't know why I decided that procrastinating was a good idea. Let's start with that. Secondly, you wanna know what makes an awesome project even awesomer?

Arrested Development quotes. See, my project was on illusions and if you are any sort of fan of that glorious show, the quote that popped into your head when you read the word 'illusion' was the quote I put on my project.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm too tired to finish this post. But instead of saying the traditional Portal meme, like I should, I'mma close with this:

THE CAKE IS FO REALZ!!

RiRi...GURL. YOU IS A GLUTTON FO PUNISHMENT O SOMETHIN'.

WARNING: The following post is incredibly grammatically incorrect. Also, I don't own any of the songs that I quote the lyrics to.

Ladies and gentlemen, I was driving home from the absymal world that is SAT class, and I heard these lyrics on the radio:

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
But that's all right because I like the way it burns."

Rihanna, Riri...what is going on witchoo gurl? Are you tellin' the world that you got some deep, pyschological scarring from Chris Brown? Remember your rude boy? Chris Brown? Him? Yeah.

Yo songs haven't been quite the same since then girl. And I think...I think you need to sit yo ass down and do some deep, heavy, thinking before you agree to songs that make you just sound like a glutton for punishment.

Now, for those of you who are like, "What the hell is she talkin' 'bout?", let me explain.

As anyone who hasn't been living under a rock knows, Rihanna was assaulted by Chris Brown back in February 2009. Ever since then, her songs have some...extremely questionable lyrics in them.

Example? The entire song Russian Roulette, her first single after the incident (at least, according to Wikipedia). Which...if you listen to the whole song, sounds like a metaphor for domestic abuse. However, there's one particular verse in the song that made me go, "OH, SHIT! RIRI! GIRL!" And that's this:

"As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering if I will ever see another sunrise
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's to late to think of the value of my life"

Now, I can't say I've ever been through a domestic abuse, or abuse of any kind. But I do understand that it's traumatizing. And I know that like, she chose to come back or whatever, but I feel like maybe she should've taken more time off. Seen a counselor. Or something. This sounds...well,depressing really. She needs a friend. I'm sure she has friends, or people who call themselves her friends, but does she really have a friend? Y'know what I'm saying?

Whatever, next song. The next single she came out with was "Hard", which isn't really all that alarming because it's like an empowerment song or whatever (I think this song is the reason why everyone but me assumes she's okay). However, the song is just...I dunno. I think there's a better way to say that you're tough that isn't "I'm so hard". But then, there's this line:

"I can’t just let you run up on me like that (all up on me like that) yeah". Run up? Second defition of 'run up' on Urban Dictionary.com is "1.The first motion in a physical altercation, the opening stage of a fight. 2.acceleration toward someone with intent to harm." What do you say to that, Chris Brown? What do you say to that?

Haha, look at me talking to these people like they're actually reading my blog. -snort-

At any rate, there was that. THEN, came Rude Boy. Where to start with Rude Boy? Where to start with Rude Boy?

"Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me"

There. Right there. That's where to start with Rude Boy. Now, take a long hard look at that. What do you see? I see confidence, softness, more confidence...UTTER DESPIRATION. Lord have mercy, Rihanna! This is a woman who does not feel confident that someone will love her unless she lives a lie!

Then, there's this, the only other part worth mentioning because the rest of it is about...getting it on with her Rude Boy:

"I like the way you touch me there
I like the way you pull my hair
Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking
No, no"

You know what I think when I hear that line? I think to myself, "Riri likes it rough. Damn. Maybe she and Chris Brown got into a little foreplay before the Grammys and just took it too far." Not to trivalize what happened to her. I'm sure it was really traumatic. That's just what that line makes me think.

Aww, now I feel like a bad person and I almost don't want to finish this post now...but I will. I have to finish because I feel obligated. And somehow, this got "A Dios Le Pido" stuck in my head. I love that song.

Right, so next came "Te Amo" and "Rockstar 101", neither of which I've heard, but I looked up the lyrics to see if there's anything alarming in them.

Rockstar 101 has this gem: "Six inch walker, Big shit talker, I never play the victim
I'd rather be a stalker". All I have to say to that is Chris Brown, you betta watch yoself, son.

Te Amo has this ge-wait. The entire song, actually. Which is here. Yeaaaah. Replace the 'she' with 'Chris Brown', and 'I' with...well, actually you can just leave 'I'. And there you have it. Okay, this music video is freaking me out. Also, apparently, Riri is a bisexual. I didn't know that.

Moving on.

Now, these are just singles that Rihanna released as Rihanna on her own, and not featured with any other artist. For that, we first have the EPIC Jay-Z and Rihanna collaboration of Run This Town.

...Okay, there's arguably nothing wrong or alarming with this song. NEXT!

The song that I posted at the beginning of this blog. Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna. Just the title of the song...and you know you're in for a treat. However, this song, at its core, is about an abusive relationship. But...let's harken back to the lyrics I posted at the top of this blog.

"That's all right because I like the way it hurts". Yeah. That one. It alarms me in ways that it probably shouldn't alarm me because I'm probably reading too much into this. However, I think there was a better way to...express the right emotions in the song without giving her such alarming lines so soon after such a deeply shocking, personal tragedy.

And also, it gave us the dumbest line to date in rap history: "Guess that's why they call it window pane". Oh, Eminem. There's just...something really wrong with that line. Everybody giggles at it. In what is otherwise a profound, if not incredibly disturbing song.

So yeah...that's Rihanna. As promised, "A Dios Le Pido"!

French is a hot language.

WARNING: This post contains a lot of French.

"Pour regarder dans les yeux de la mort est enivrante".

You know what that translates to? Actually. I wanna warn you that before you read on, I was reading about "House of Leaves" today on TvTropes, and it appears to be a very frightening book, and that's where I got the above quote from. So...I'm not responsible any mental scarring.

Anyway, "Pour regarder dans les yeux de la mort est envrante" translates to "To look into the eyes of death is intoxicating". Now, to say that in English immediately comes off as scary. To say it in French?

It just sounds so pretty. French can make anything sound really pretty. Which is why, I think, Lady Gaga is obsessed with it. Yeah, that was a random segue, I know.

If you disagree with me, think about it. In the beginning of Alejandro she says, "I know that we are young, and I know that you may love me. But I just can't be with you like this anymore...Alejandro" IN A FRENCH ACCENT. Now, if you're speaking to a dude with a Hispanic name, why are you donning a French accent? Wouldn't it make more sense to say it with a hispanic accent?

No. Because it doesn't sound as pretty. Go on. Try it. I'll wait. I can't even do the Hispanic actually. It just ends up sounding like a redneck version of Speedy Gonzalez. Pathetic, I know.

And in Bad Romance, Lady Gaga says, "Je veux ton amour, et je veux ton revanche. Je veux ton amour" which according to Google Translate translates into "I want your love, and I want your hand. I want your love". Although, revanche can mean 'revenge' in French so...I'm thinking something is lost in translation here. Whatever.

Following that line, she says, "I don't wanna be friends". In a French accent. Admittedly, if she said it in an Italian accent after speaking French it would sound weird. But why doesn't she say, "Voglio il tuo amore e voglio la tua vendetta, io voglio il tuo amore" (Italian) or "Eu quero seu amor e eu quero a sua vingança, eu quero seu amor" (Portugese) or "Quiero tu amor y quiero tu venganza, Quiero tu amor" (Spanish). Because none of them sound NEARLY as good as "Je veux ton amour, et je veux ton revanche. Je veux ton amour".

Now, French may just work for Lady Gaga.

...Or does it?

Listen to this. It's Colors of the Wind in French. Here's the English version. French makes a Disney movie sound incredibly sexy. Actually, the English one's actual sound quality seems to be a lot worse on my computer, so that could just be my computer.

I will admit, the English one has Judy Kuhn going for it, who orginated the role of Cosette in Les Miserables (which, I will get to in a minute). But the French one just has a better quality of lyricality (yes, I'm going Mia Michaels up in this joint) to it. It flows better. It sounds better. It makes me want to go plant a tree. Also, it distracts one from the fact that Pocahontas doesn't have a nose.

I bet you didn't notice that before until I mentioned it. Don't worry, I didn't either until Nostalgia Chick mentioned it to me either. Go on, check. It's okay. I'll wait.

...Are you there? Okay, good! Moving on!

As not really promised, Les Miserables! Now, I really don't know where to begin with this. The book, the numerous film versions, or the musical. Let's begin with my favorite one: the musical! Les Miserables (the musical) was released in 1980 as a concept album by two French guys nobody ever heard of: Claude-Michel Schönberg and Alain Boublil. The original stage production of this concept album was held in a sports arena for three months and then closed when booking contracts expired.

In 1982, Cameron Mackintosh, most notable for producing shows like Cats and Phantom of the Opera and...well, Les Mis, was given a copy of the concept album by some guy named Farago. Farago wanted Mackintosh to make an English adaptation of the successful concept album. Mackintosh was initially reluctant, but eventually produced Les Miserables, which opened at Barbican Arts Centre on October 8th (which is also the same day Phantom of the Opera opened in Her Majesty's Theatre, one year later), 1985. Initially, it was slated to be a commercial failure, being horribly condemmed by theater critics and literary critics alike. But the public enjoyed it, and thus it thrived, steadily gaining better reviews and was eventually moved to the Queen's Theatre where it plays to this day. I wanna go see it.

So, what does this have to do with the language of the French? The entire musical.

Wait. Actually. Before I even get into that, they're doing a 25th Anniversary Concert this year. Squee. I want to find a way to watch it. However, there is one problem I have with it. Nick Jonas. As Marius. Oh, God if I didn't mock Marius's every single note as it is...this will just make it so much worse. UGGH. I know Nick Jonas played Gavroche for a spell on Broadway...but I can't imagine him singing "A Heart Full of Love" and wanting to sigh dreamily. Granted, I never did that with Michael Ball. But I was close.

However, Lea Salonga (who was at the Tarrytown Music Hall last year and I wanted to go see her SO BADLY) is the only person from the 10th Anniversary concert who will be there. Instead of Eponine, she'll now be Fantine. I...am surprisingly okay with that.

Moving on.

I will take the most notable songs from that musical and compare them to their French counterparts. The French Recordings are from the concept album (yay YouTube!). English is from the Original Broadway cast.

Do You Hear The People Sing? vs. A La Volonte Du Peuple

Actually, I think this is a tie. The French guy definitely has more passion in his voice but...I could have an affair with Michael Maguire's voice. If it was possible, I would marry that man's voice. Mmmm. I love that voice so. Additionally, the English version as opposed to the French Concept makes use of all the Barricade Boys, not just Enjolras. The French one sounds very good though.

The song I hate with a burning, fiery passion vs its French counterpart

These are very different. Like, it shocked me the first time I listened to it. I mean, the tune of the vocals isn't that much different, but the instrumentation is so much more simple. I think I like it a lot more than the original Broadway version. Additionally, I like the background singers. You have to remember that Fantine's fate was similar to many, many women at that time. She is a lost soul, but not alone, if that makes sense. The only thing I don't like is how toward the end, her voice doesn't really change all that much as the music does, in comparison to the English. Additionally, the English one has an oboe solo that the beginning. It gets points just for that. But the French one is still better. Point to the French.

The Lea Michele Song vs The Song with a Boring Name in the Paris Revival

The French version is known as the 'lost' song of Eponine, as it didn't make it very far past the concept album, although you can hear part of the song in 'A Little Fall of Rain'. I like the French version better. I mean...it sounds more mournful instead of bitter. The problem with Eponine is that she was never meant to be a potential romantic interest for Marius. I'm looking at you, fanbrats.

In the book, she tricks Marius into going to the Barricades, convinced that he will die. She ends up taking a bullet for him, saying that "she wanted to die first". Although, it is argued that she also took the bullet for him selflessly, which can be construed...the point is, in the book she's a butterface that is supposed to show the ruination of society and how quickly it can turn on people. Additionally, she's a bit loony. Point is, she's suddenly become the icon for teenagers who completely miss the point of Eponine because her song basically translates to "HE DOESN'T LOVE MEEEEE". When it's really, "SOCIETY RUINED MY LIFE AND HE DOESN'T LOVE MEEEEEE". Although, I have no idea if that's what the French version is saying. I also don't like Francis Ruffelle's voice. It sounds high pitched and annoying. Also, for those of you who are wondering why I called this the 'Lea Michele song'...you must've not seen the pilot of Glee. Point to the French.

Bring Him Home vs Comme Un Homme

Now, Comme Un Homme did NOT originally appear in the French Concept Album, but has become one of the most notable songs for Jean Valjean and in the entire musical. I blame Britain's Got Talent. Essentially, these two are the same, and really relies on your vocal preferences. I prefer Colm Wilkinson. Also, it was a pain the ass to find a recording of this because Comme Un Homme translates to "Like A Man" and is also the French version of "I'll Make A Man Out of You" from Mulan. And the version I have here is the French Canadian version because I couldn't find the actual French version. I have it on my iTunes. Just not here. Point to the English.

Castle on a Cloud vs. Mon Prince Est En Chemin

I'm guessing the lyrics are completely different. The longer instrumentation in the French version is irksome to me, but the French gets the point actually because of the revival's title "Une poupée dans la vitrine", which is a reference to a doll Cosette sees in the window of a store that Jean Valjean will later buy for her. Anything that goes back to the source material just wins. Also, if you look at the comments on the French one, people who understand it says the original song makes a bit more sense in relation to the book. Point to the French.

That song made kind of famous by the Seinfeld episode vs. God, these people are shmucks

The Seinfeld episode in question is the one where George has this song stuck in his head and something about a suede jacket and Elaine's father...I only saw the episode once. My mom would know more about this stuff than I would. I made a parody of this song about the murderers in Macbeth. It was brilliant. I pick the French version yet again. It makes Thenardier sound suaver, but still sleazy. Which, he should. But he's so much worse in the book. Hence, why I like the book better. But still, point to the French.

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables vs. Seul devant ces tables vides

Seul devant ces tables vides, surprisingly, did not appear in the original concept album, as Marius never spends much time brooding over his fallen commerades in the book (as I recall). He was too busy being unconcious, reconciling with his grandfather, shunning Jean Valjean away and then getting married to even think about that. With the exception of mentioning Eponine like once or twice. Then again, in the book, Marius isn't close with the Friends of the ABC at all. He just joins them because Eponine told him that he was desperately needed and he thought he'd never see Cosette again. Now, I say that this is surprising because this is song is considered to be Marius's song. But, it had no reason to be on the original concept album which was more book oriented. At any rate...Marius can really be sold based on his actor. I'm not looking forward to hearing Nick Jonas singing this. The album will be released August 23rd. I plan on buying it. And mocking Nick Jonas.

But back to the song. I pick the French version, again. I actually couldn't find the original Broadway version on Youtube, which distressed me. So, I picked the 10th Anniversary Edition of this song, sung by Michael Ball, who is basically the reason why I don't like Marius. Book!Marius is awesome. Michael Ball!Marius isn't. Point to the French (c'mon, you know it sounds better).

All right, last song, I promise. I'm thinking of which Javert song to pick. His overly religious song that isn't true to the book whatsoever, or his suicide song. I pick the latter! C'mon, do you wanna hear the overly religious song? No. Exactly.

Javert's Suicide vs. Le suicide de Javert

Now, Le suicide de Javert was not called that in the concept album but I (OF COURSE) couldn't find it on YouTube. The song was originally called Noir ou Blanc (Black or White). Which may sound boring in English, but it's pretty legitimate if you consider Javert's way of thinking. Now, I'm not even using the Original Broadway version of Javert's Suicide. Why? Because the 10th Anniversary version kicks some major ass. Phillip Quast. He has a cool name and he is the man. Actually, Colm Wilkinson is the man, so Phillip Quast is the dude. Now, where the English version has Phillip Quast, the French version has the confrontation between Valjean and Javert, in which Valjean pleads Javert to spare him one more hour so he can save Marius. Although, the 10th Anniversary has this too...whatever, it sounds better in French and I'm having trouble finding it at the moment. My computer is old and it hates me.

Anyway, that's how French pwns in the Les Miserables musical. For the book, I will just show you this one quote and suddenly everything will make sense. Okay, not really but there's one particular quote that sounds so much better in French than it does in English. Like I said, French is a hot language.

"Tant qu’il existera, par le fait des lois et des mœurs, une damnation sociale créant artificiellement, en pleine civilisation, des enfers, et compliquant d’une fatalité humaine la destinée qui est divine; tant que les trois problèmes du siècle, la dégradation de l’homme par le prolétariat, la déchéance de la femme par la faim, l’atrophie de l’enfant par la nuit, ne seront pas résolus; tant que, dans de certaines régions, l’asphyxie sociale sera possible; en d’autres termes, et à un point de vue plus étendu encore, tant qu’il y aura sur la terre ignorance et misère, des livres de la nature de celui-ci pourront ne pas être inutiles."

Which translates to:

"So long as there shall exist, by reason of law and custom, a social condemnation, which, in the face of civilisation, artificially creates hells on earth, and complicates a destiny that is divine, with human fatality; so long as the three problems of the age — the degradation of man by poverty, the ruin of woman by starvation, and the dwarfing of childhood by physical and spiritual night — are not solved; so long as, in certain regions, social asphyxia shall be possible; in other words, and from a yet more extended point of view, so long as ignorance and misery remain on earth, books like this cannot be useless."

Actually, it sounds really good in both languages, but I imagine in French it flows better, as French was Hugo's native language. Here is the wikiquote page for Les Miserables (the book). Decide for yourself which one is better.

By the way, I'm sorry it took so long to get this to you. I burned my hand last week and then I got lyme disease...again.

I Still Haven't Decided If I'm Angry Or Not...

Warning: The following post contains a lot of bias.

As promised, OTHER Emmy nominations.

Unlike my bestest best friend in the whole wide world, I'm going into the writing and directing and other sub nominations that nobody really cares about, because it gives me a good reason to rant/rave about things.

First things first. Glee got NINETEEN EMMY NOMINATIONS. The hell? Some things are warranted. Some, not so much. But I'll get into that later. I'm gonna start nitpicking on random awards because I'm not using the fancy drop down list that you can use on the Emmy website, but the PDF file. I'm lazy.

One of the obscure awards: Outstanding Art Direction for a Single-Camera Series. I don't even know what that means, but Glee's "Pilot" up against Lost's "Ab Aeterno", which is regarded by fans and critics alike to be the second best episode in the entire series, second only to "The Constant", which ironically did not receive Emmy nominations of any kind.

It's also up against the now ended because it sucked so hard Heroes' "Brave New World" which was a stinkin' good episode for the dying series. Like, this was the episode that gave people hope for the show. Before crushing their dreams so hard.

Nominated for that category is also Modern Family's "Moon Landing", and True Blood's "Never Let Me Go". My prediction? Either True Blood or Lost. I say True Blood because it's supposed to be a very pretty show artistically, and Lost because I'm biased and we might see the "Everybody Loves Raymond" syndrome (in which Lost wins everything it's nominated for, simply because it's over) at the Emmys this year.

Right. Next category that catches my interest. Wait. Actually. Before I get into that, I'd just like to say I think it's stinkin' awesome that Conan O'Brien got nominated for some stuff this year, and Jay Leno is sitting at NBC, twiddling his thumbs. The Academy is clearly Team Coco. Like me! :D

Anyway, next award. Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series. Glee has two nominations here, neither of which I think are deserved. For the Pilot and for Wheels. The pilot was good, so I don't have much of a problem with this as I do for Wheels. Maybe it's just my extreme distaste for the musical numbers in Wheels, but there's something about that episode that kinda gets on my nerves. Don't understand the nominations at all. Whatever. I think Modern Family will win.

Next! Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series. Lost was nominated, not surprising me in the least, but the episode it got nominated for kind of did. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not surprised anymore. The episode nominated was the series finale, appropriately titled "The End". I won't give anything away, but just thinking about the ending of that episode brings tears to my eyes and...excuse me, I need a tissue.

Okay, I'm back. Now, Dexter is also nominated for this episode, and while I haven't seen Dexter in ages because my mom got rid of Showtime (-insert angry face of choice here-), Dexter has a lot of great direction in general (yay for nonsensical posting?). I think Dexter will win for this category.

Umm, before I go on to the next category, I just would like to randomly point out that I love Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert. Sorry, it may seem random to you, but not to me because I keep seeing their names. And Coco's.

Okay. Next award. Outstanding Hairstyling for a Single-Camera series. The only reason I'm bringing this up is for the Glee episodes nominated. "The Power of Madonna" and . . . "Hairography". I got a good giggle out of that.

Random time! I hate makeup awards. Seriously, I do. I always feel like no matter what I'm watching, everybody is wearing too much eye makeup. And then, there are some shows where the actors aren't even wearing eyeliner, and it looks like they have too much eyeliner on. I'm looking at you, Nestor Carbonell.

Next award I feel like bringing up. Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Original Dramatic Composition). We all know who will win here. The Music Man himself, Michael Giacchino. That's just not even a competition. That's just like...rape. Please, I ask you to NOT watch this clip, but just listen to the music. Or, if you've seen Up, you know what the man can do.

Oh, Hans Zimmer got nominated for Outstanding Music Composition For
A Miniseries, Movie Or A Special (Original Dramatic Score). Against a bunch of dudes (and maybe a lady) that I've never heard of. I'm taking an Arrested Development joke about who I think will win: "It's like comparing an apple, and some fruit that nobody's ever heard of." Yeah. If you don't know who Hans Zimmer is right away, you've definitely heard stuff he's done. Case in point? Pirates of the Carribean 2 and 3. He also composed stuff for the Dark Knight with James Newton Howard (who composed for Titanic). So...yeah, moving on.

Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics...this is an award? Wait, seriously, this is an award? I know they did this at the Oscars and stuff, but...seriously? Ehh, whatever. I'm not going into this. It just caught my attention.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series. Matthew Morrison. I don't get it. I really don't. I don't think he's a fantastic actor most of the time. If they show clips this year, for what moment they got nominated for, I really hope it's that moment where Will blows up at Terri. Because that was a great moment acting wise. Alec Baldwin and Steve Carrell are also nominated. Who will win the award? "'Not I!' said Steve Carrell". That's right. Every actor in this category is just Alec Baldwin's bitch. He better win. Inexpressible rage will ensue if he doesn't.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series. You've got a good running here. Matthew Fox, Michael C. Hall, Kyle Chandler, Hugh Laurie, Bryan Cranston, and Jon Hamm. Okay, so I've never heard of the last two, but...it's still a good category, damn it. My choice to win? Michael C. Hall. Because Michael C. Hall is love. Murderous, pyschopathic love. Now, I love Matthew Fox, don't get me wrong. I once woke up to the sound of his voice and it was one of the most glorious things I've ever woken up to. But...he kinda sucks. He does. Everybody spent YEARS complaining about Jack. Frankly, I think Naveen Andrews should've been nominated. But whatever.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie. This is a FANTASTIC category. Jeff Bridges, Martin Sheen, Sir Ian McKellen, Dennis Quaid (okay, he's not that great), and Al Pacino. Please. Take your pick out of this category. With the exception of Dennis Quaid (I don't see the appeal! He was tolerable in Parent Trap), they're all fine actors.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series. Lea Michele. Oh, GOD how this irks me. And I don't know if this is my extreme dislike of Rachel Berry and my inability to separate the two, but I don't think that she's a good actor. At all. She doesn't make her character likable at all and just...arrrggh this nomination frustrates me so. Tiny Fey, please beat her. That is all. Or Toni Collette. Basically anyone that ISN'T Lea Michele should win.

Random time! January Jones is a cool name. HEY! Connie Briton! Long time no see! Mariska Hargitay! Damages is still on television? Whatever.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series. Chris Colfer? I love you. Jon Cryer? I immensely dislike you. You irk me in ways I didn't think it was possible for a person to be irked. Omg. It's NPH. -insert all sorts of squeeing here-

All right. Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series. Oh whoa, I just noticed I keep switching capitalization. I don't know why I do that. Anyway. Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn. They've each won it once for this show (Lost). Michael Emerson has been nominated more times, but the last time these two were up against each other, Terry O'Quinn came out as the victor. Do I really think anyone else will win in this category? No. But I'm extremely biased. Oh, Andre Braugher got nominated. That's a name I haven't seen anywhere in a long time.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series: Jane Lynch. That is all.

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series: NPH (Bryan Ryan on Glee), Will Arnett (Devin Banks on 30 Rock), and Mike O'Malley (Burt Hummel on Glee). Two well deserved nominations for Glee right here. And a very much deserved nomination for Will Arnett right here. I can't pick who will win out of the three of them. My guess would be Mike O'Malley. Any scene between him and Chris Colfer is just...there are no words.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series: Kristen Chenowith, Jane Lynch (for Two and a Half Men), Betty White, Tina Fey...this is a great category. I'd be content with anyone winning. Preferibly Cheno, but we can't always get what we want.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series: This is where Elizabeth Mitchell gets her nomination that she SHOULD'VE gotten last year for her work on Lost. Looking up her film credits, I now know that she played a character named Blair in a movie I've never heard of. I now feel ten times cooler. But also nominated are Sissy Spacek, Shirley Jones, and Lily Tomlin who I've heard were stellar in their respective performances. I'mma go see what Entertainment Weekly says about all of this later.

Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality-Competition Program. I hate this category. Because two hosts who deserved to be nominated never are. Cat Deely from So You Think You Can Dance (she had a barbeque on the 4th of July in which present and past contestants were invited! That's classy), and Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef (who is a class act in general). Heidi Klum is endearing, as is Ryan Seacrest and Tom Beregon, and the latter is only on occassion. I hate this category. So much.

All right. I'm done. I really can't look at this PDF file anymore. I'm tired. Plus, we're getting into categories I can't be fucked to give a damn about. Oh! The episode of Friday Night Lights that my bestest best friend was raving about got a writing nod. How 'bout that?

One last thing: Anne Hathaway got an Emmy nomination for "Oustanding Voice-Over Performance" for that Simpsons episode she was in...and I remember thinking to myself when I watched it, "THAT'S Anne Hathaway? It sounds nothing like her!" Perhaps that's what's so outsanding about it? I like Anne Hathaway's voice though...:/

So, overall? I'm meh about these nominations. We'll see what happens on the night of the Emmys.

Come in for the anger. STAY FOR EVEN MORE ANGER. >:(

Okay, so as many of you know, the Emmy Nominations came out today.

I haven't seen them yet. With the exception of one category: Outstanding Choreography. The nominees are as follows:

So You Think You Can Dance:
Mia Michaels: Gravity, Koop Island Blues, & One.
Stacey Tookey: Fear

...and that's it from SYTYCD. Insert my inexpressable RAGE AT THIS NONSENSE. I don't even know where to begin!

Okay. I know exactly where to begin: Koop Island Blues, otherwise known as the 'Butt Routine'. It is EXACTLY what it sounds like. A man is obsessed with a woman's ass. I don't see how that's dancing. Judge for yourself by watching the link above.

Not for nothing, I loved that routine like no other. Seeing it live? A blast. But I just DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT WAS NOMINATED FOR A FREAKING EMMY. I am irked and frustrated. As you can see.

The second issue I have with this? One. I couldn't even remember what it was until I saw it come up on my 'Suggested Videos' to watch on Youtube. And I was like, "Oh yeah. That." Other than the freaky mirror concept, I don't understand what was so freaking amazing about it that it deserves an Emmy Nomination. Once again, you can judge for yourself.

Third issue? Stacey Tookey's one routine. I don't even remember it. I don't know who danced it, I don't know what season it's from...I don't know WHAT THE FUCK it is. I don't even like Stacey Tookey's contemporary routines!

...Okay, that's something of a lie. I like Stacey Tookey and her routines (can't think of one at the moment. I'm thinking maybe she choreographed Hallelujah? I'll get back to you on that). Not more than Mia. Not more than Sonya Tayeh (who really ISN'T a contemporary choreographer, but she's done contemporary choreography and therefore it counts). Not more than Tyce DiOrio, affectionately referred to in my mind as 'Tasty Oreo'.

Which brings me to my next point. Sonya, NappyTabs (Tabitha and Napolean D'uomo) and Tyce. Were not nominated for an Emmy. Neither was Travis Wall but I'm less upset about it because I would've been more shocked if he had been nominated. He's still a baby. He has time to get a shiny golden statue.

But yeah. You have this piece by Sonya, who was nominated once before for a similar piece. Now, I'm not really a dancing expert, but I think this piece of dancing is just...brilliant. There may be the issue of, 'Oh, well it's really similar to that other piece she did'. Fine, I guess I can accept that. Still don't like it though. I really thought she was gonna get another Emmy nomination for 'Tore My Heart'. Whatever.

Moving on to Tyce DiOrio who choreographed a BEAUTIFUL piece about breast cancer. Now, there's the issue of 'well, maybe the Academy didn't like the idea of a theme'. The man choreographed a routine and won an Emmy for his routine that was about the Garden of the Eden. It does not get more symbolic than that. Academy, I spit at your hypocrisy. I spit at it.

Now, for Tabitha and Napolean, there's only one routine I would've even considered worthy of the golden statuette, and that's the one they co-choreographed with Dmitry Chaplin. The one with the water and the tables and...yeah. Whatever. I've lost my steam on this rant.

Picked it up again for a moment.

Why are all of these contemporary routines? I liked last year's pick better. Last year from the SYTYCD crock pot you had contemporary (Silence), jazz (The Garden), argentine tango, and hip hop. This year? You just have contemporary.

Why are none of the Bollywood routines ever nomianted? Why wasn't the Russian Trepak nominated? Why isn't MORE hiphop nominated? Like...can we get a little variety up in this joint? Please?

Now, you might've noticed that I never picked on Gravity. Why is that? It is the only piece in there that I consider worthy of an Emmy nomination. Addiction is powerful shit, guys. And that dance...I get goosebumps whenever I watch it. It is that good.

By the way, I don't really recall, but are the dancing numbers at the Academy Awards really that good? They're always nominated for Emmy's and I'm just like, "...I don't see it." Whatever.

Let me end this post on what is a positive note for me. Chelsie Hightower, former SYTYCD alumni and the person I aspire to be, is nominated for an Emmy for her work on Dancing With the Stars. She was in the argentine tango and the hip hop routine. So, that says something about her as a dancer.

Next rant? The next of the Emmy nominations. Stay tuned!

Fox's New Reality Show? So You Think You Can Kick Dancing On Its Ass.

Season 7 of So You Think You Can Dance has been...stellar. Even if you don't understand or appreciate dancing, I think this season is well worth watching. And perhaps it's because it got off with an extremely rough start with extremely suck-ish auditions, and got progressively better once they got to the top 11.

Which, should really be Top 10, but they had to include one of my favorite dancers of all time: Billy Bell. I love this boy. But more on him later.

Now, for those of you who don't know the faith of SYTYCDism (pronounced sigh-di-sy-sum ((pronunciation orginiated by Noelle Marsh of Season 6, term is actually a website for all things related to SYTYCD))), Season 7 is different compared to the other six seasons.

For one thing, there's a Top 10 (11 in this case) instead of a Top 20. Instead of dancing with each other, they dance with 'all stars' from previous seasons, although next week they have to perform a solo, a routine with an all star, and a routine with another contestant, so SYTYCD is sort of returning to its roots.

I like these changes, somewhat. I like having a Top 10/11 because I don't spend weeks on weeks on weeks screaming at my television about how much I hate certain partners and how they suck. Case in point? Ashleigh and Ryan DiLello from Season 6. A married couple who, although they were not together, BOTH SUCKED and SOMEHOW BOTH ENDED UP IN THE FINALE. Actually, Ashleigh only made it that far because she was partnered with Jakob Karr (♥♥♥♥♥) for most of the time, and she was injured the week before the finale and floated into the finale ON HER HUSBAND'S TEARS, and Ryan took his shirt off every week. Estrogen Bridge Bait indeed.

But this time was also used to get to know dancers and pick favorites, especially for those of us who don't watch the Vegas episode. A few favorites of mine are Jakob Karr, Chelsie Hightower, Mollee Gray and Billy Bell.

This journey also makes routines like this, this, and this more memorable because it's not just about the dance. It's about what these dancers go through together, and it shows in their dancing. Well, maybe not so much in the last one, but, y'know, that's one of my faves. But, there's no journey with these dancers. I miss the dancers falling on their asses together, laughing about it,crying together during emotional/frustrating routines, and just wondering to yourself, "Can they do it?"

Sometimes they could, and sometimes they couldn't.

I don't know people's names in this season yet. Wait. I know Melinda, Cristina and Lexie were eliminated. Let me see if I can remember the names of the eight dancers that are still there. Okay. There's Lauren, Ashley, Billy, Alex, Jose, Robert, Kent and Adecheke! I got it. Whoot.

OH YEAH. Another thing that kind of irks me. With the top 20, you had a girl and a guy eliminated each week, so that the partners would be kept fair. Since the all-star addition, they've basically been eliminating all the girls because the guys are absolutely spectacular this season.

Watch the following routines as an example:

Billy Bell and Kathryn McCormack contemporary
Alex Wong and Twitch Boss Hip Hop
Alex Wong and Allison and Allison Holker Contemporary


Okay, so that's not ALL the guys, and I mentioned Alex Wong twice...but that's the caliber of dancers we're dealing with.

By the way, I stinkin' love Billy Bell. He's adorable as can be, and whenever I watch him dance, he makes me tear up because it is just that beautiful. I know he probably won't win, but I hope he does.

I wish Billy hadn't gotten mono. He would've kept Ryan out of the finale. Jakob Karr vs. Billy Bell would've been awesome on SO MANY LEVELS.

An example of Jakob Karr's awesome dancing? Here.

I'm gonna go fantasize now. Toodles.