Monday, August 30, 2010

Emmy Reflections-In Which Lost Wins An Award That I'd Never Expect

So...the day after the Emmys. Some of you are hungover, some of you are embittered, some of you are perfectly conect, and some of you didn't even realize the Emmys were on last night.

Now, I have to correct a few things before I start. The first is that my dear friend was correct in her comment. The JoBro that I got that really stalkerish close up picture of is in fact Kevin, and not Joe. It has since been corrected in my post.

The other correction I have to make is that Lost, did in fact, win an Emmy. And it also won some other awards, such as the TCA (Television Crtics Association) Award for "Oustanding Achievement in Drama". Although, I don't know if that applies for Season 5, or Season 6. I will just have to find now.

Now, I bet you're asking yourselves, "Well, what Emmy did Lost win? It certainly wasn't Primetime." And you'd be correct. Lost won an Emmy for Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing for a Drama Series. Join me when I say, "WTF?"

As Lost's only Emmy win, this also means Michael Giacchino lost. Who the fuck did he lose to? I-oh. He lost to Sean Callery for 24. Okay. I'm trying really hard, but I can't be upset about that. Actually, I think this was 24's only win in its final season.

If I didn't love 24's score as much as I did, this would be an outrage.

Okay. Back to more reflecting. The night didn't turn out quite like I had wanted it to. At all. But I think that's more in part to the fact that I am a biased Lost fan.

But that doesn't really change the fact that it was boring as hell. When I get a host for an awards show, I expect to be entertained, DAMN IT! Everytime Jimmy Fallon popped up with that fucking guitar, I cringed and proceeded to weep.

It is my personal belief that Stephen Colvert needs to host the Emmys. That is all I have to say on the matter.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

EMMY LIVE BLOG-In which everything I guess is wrong.

Okay. So I started a little late on the Emmy live blog. This starts right after the opening number. Jimmy Fallon isn't funny. I dislike him intensely and this song he's singing with Amy Poheler isn't funny.

Okay, so there's a comedy montage going on right now...I'm laughing at some of these things, but not many. I didn't realize Nurse Jackie was a comedy. I mean, I knew that, but...it doesn't seem like it.

OMG. THE SAFETY DANCE. "ICON. NOCON." That's kinda funny. And then there's Kenneth...oh, Kenneth.

Live blogging is harder than I thought it would be.

Jon Hamm and Betty White are announcing the first category. Wow, Betty White is OLD, man. And there's some innuendos. They're not very good together. Actually, I don't know what the big deal is about Betty White.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy is up first...GO NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! And the Emmy goes to Eric Stonestreet (am I spelling that right?). My first reaction is WHO? But that's because I've never seen Modern Family. But I heard he was great.

Aw, he wanted to be a clown when he grew up. That's creepy. Jesse TYler Ferguson is crying! Awww, that's kind of adorable. Obligatory writers nod...obligatory parent nod. His mom is there...aww, everybody's crying. The time is 8:14 and we're at our first commercial break!

Of course. There's gonna be a lot of these. Like one after every category. It's an awards show. OH HEY. THE APPRENTICE. I remember when we watched it after the Apprentice Projec in 8th grade. Good times.

I don't know who this commentator is...segue to Jimmy Fallon. Now Jim Parsons and Sofia Verablahblahlah. MORE INNUENDOS.

Writing for a comedy series...30 Rock (FOR ANNA HOWARD SHAW DAY), The Office, Another 30 Rock episode, the Glee pilot, Modern Family (Christopher Lloyd writes for that show?)

Wait, who the fuck just won? I can't understand her...WAIT. I think it's Modern Family. Yes, it's Modern Family. The just mentioned Christopher Lloyd. Okay, he's talking...I really hate award speeches. They're kinda boring. This guy isn't making me laugh. AND SOFIA BLAHBLAHBLAH RUINED MY THEORY.

OMG. STEPHEN COLBERT! STEPHEN! STEPHEN! I LOVE YOU STEPHEN! Where is Jon Stewart though? OMG. John Travolta, Tom Hanks and Dustin Hoffman in one joke. That man is an American treasure.

Outstanding by Supporting Actress in A Comedy...Julie Bowen, Jane from 30 Rock, Jane from Glee, Sofia LadyGaga, Kristin Wig, and some chick whose name I missed. THE EMMY GOES TO JANE LYNCH.

This...surprises ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Her speech is surpisingly enough emotional, but funny. She's so speechless, it's surprising, when you think about her character. AWW, CHRIS COLFER. Lea Michele is crying tooo!

Okay, we're at 8:26 and we're at the second commercial break. There's an Oprah commercial. I can't believe her show is ending. Like...it's been around forever.

My viewing partner did not know that there was a Daytime Emmys program. I shake my head in disgust. I mean, I guess I can't really blame him but it's really...abysmal. I'm sorry. Well, now you know.

Omg. There's a fucking pen commercial on. Like what the hell. Betty White is gonna be on Community.

Okay, we're back and it's 8:30. Matthew Perry and Lauren Graham (?). Jimmy Fallon just did a degrees of separation thing. I hate awards banter. I hate awards show banter so much.

Guest actors/actresses in a comedy. We know that NPH won for Glee and Betty White won for SNL. Like, neither was a surprise.

Comedy Directing...HEY, IT'S BRITT BRITT. Okay. WHAT? Ryan Murphy won for the Glee pilot? UMM, WHAT? I AM AGHAST AND CONFUSED AND ANGERED. Oh wait. But he's dedicating his award to his teachers. Damn you, Ryan Murphy.

Uggh, Family Guy/Modern Family crossover. Modern Family in 3D...this is kind of ridiculous. AHA. GEORGE CLOONEY ON MODERN FAMILY. I'd be okay with it. Even though I've never seen it. I just kinda like George Clooney.

Eva Longoria Parker and some guy from NCIS. I think that's LL Cool J?

Lead Actor in a comedy. EVERY ACTOR IS ALEC BALDWIN'S BITCH. Or...Jim Parsons. Like...the fuck? Okay, my Emmy predictions suck tonight. And I'm not happy with this at all. Like, really? WHAT? My wrist really hurts right now. I'm having sooo much trouble writing right now. I can't believe I wanted to live blog this. This better end on time. I can't do this for three hours.

JEWEL? WHAAAT?

OKAY. Commercial break. The time 8:40.

Wait. Kristen Chenowith and Kristen Bell in the same movie. YES. PLEASE. Okay, back to my break.

And I'm back.

Neil Patrick Harris is presenting the award for something. He's a beautiful man. I love him. He's so snarky. :)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy...GO TINA FEY! BOO LEA MICHELE. Okay, not boo. But...don't win Lea Michele. Okay, Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie (which I still can't believe is a comedy but whatever). I hear she's hilarious on that show.

"I'm not funny." You seem hilarious, Edie Falco. My viewing partner has just made a Kanye West joke on behalf of Tina Fey. Lovely. Wow, Edie, calm it down. You don't need to thank everyone and their mother. Wait, did you evn thank your own mother? I wasn't paying attention.

They're hanging out by the Lost cast and singing. I thought there were gonna be some jibes about the show...Okay, it's time for a reality montage. Probably will feature Kate Gosselin dancing. There's an Addiction clips. There's two. Oh, wow...I think this music from The Land Before Time.

OMG WHATCHA SAY FROM SYTYCD. JAKOB KARR. ONE SYTYCD CLIP? CHEAP. No Kate Gosselin dancing, either? For shame.

Will Arnett and Keri Russel are presenting the next award! They're doing a show together. I don't know if I wanna see it. Okay, Best Reality Program. My money's on Amazing Race because that shit always wins.

TOP CHEF WINS. TOP CHEF WINS. HOLY SHIT. THAT'S AMAZING. Okay, this speech is long. They're playing the music to kick them off. I'm so happy.

The time is 8:51 and there's another commercial break. My viewing partner is doing a wonderful impersonation of Oprah right now. It's lulzy. And amazing. Okay, I'm taking another break because I don't type right on laptops and it's hurting my wrist.

8:56, and we're back. OHNOES. NOT THE ACCOUNTANTS. ANYTHING BUT THE GODDAMN ACCOUNTANTS. FUUUCCCKKKKKKK. NOT THESE SPEECHES. NOT AGAIN.

Wait. There's another song coming on. Hahaha "I cried when they announced you as the host."

Okay, we're onto a drama montage. Lots of guns. Grey's? I forgot that was a drama too. OMG. MCDREAMY GOT SHOT? OMG. DEXTER. I LOVE DEXTER.

Criminal Minds. Law And Order: SVU. Mad Men. House. Oh wow, House is an addict now? Friday Night Lights looks intense. The Good Wife? I don't like it. I saw one episode and I was like this is shit.

True Blood. NCIS. Drama is dramatic. AWW, I CRIED SO HARD AT THIS PART IN 24. Damages is still on? Breaking Bad. OMG LOST. I CRIED SUCH BITCH TEARS DURING THAT FINALE.

Detectives Stabler and Benson! YAAAAAAYYY! MARISKA HARGITAY. Some promotion for cancer...aww, there's crying.

Award for outstanding writing a drama series.

THe Good Wife, Mad Men, Friday Night Lights, Mad Men, Lost...I'd say FNL or Lost. Or either Mad Men episode. I almost don't care. Just not the Good Wife.

Mad Men! Oh no...this is clearly isn't going to be the "Everybody Loves Raymond" syndrome, as I previously anticipated. Damn.

Okay. Supporting Actor. GO MICHAEL EMERSON. I love you Terry O'Quinn, but not enough. Aaron Paul! I almost guessed that. There was a huge cheer when his name went up. I'm kind of disappointed. I really love the Lost boys...that means all the acting hopes rest on Mattew Fox. So, I can just throw my Lost hopes out the window right now. Really, I can.

More Kerri Russel and Will Arnett. OMG. MICHAEL C HALL. PLEASE WIN.

9:05. I'm taking another break. I break during every commercial break. That's the only way I can rest in these three hours. This show is going by pretty quickly, IMO.

Emily Deschenel and Nathan Fillion (Fillon?). Outstanding supporting actress...I don't care. But I'm gonna say Christina Hendricks or Elizabeth Moss. Probably-wait. What is this chicks name? Archie Punjablasso? What?

Okay. Her name is Archie Panjabi. Oh wow. I was close. I like her voice. I could sit and listen to her read the phonebook.

Edie Falco with the next award! Outstanding Lead Actor. I love Matthew Fox, but you aren't winning. It's going to Bryan Cranston, Michael C. Hall or Jon Hamm. Bryan Cranston. I called it. Sorry, M Fox. Don't worry. I still love you and I believe that waking up to your voice is the most glorious thing ever.

Bryan Cranston seems like a nice guy. Aww, his daughter and wife are very very very pretty. Well, I guess if you were the offspring of Bryan Cranston, you'd be pretty too.

Okay. 9:15. Another break. Thank goodness. I'm getting kind of tired and I'm starting to question why I thought this would be a good idea. Although, I must say? We are just barreling through these categories, and it's making everything easier. Or maybe because I'm trying to keep up with it that it seems like it's going so fast.

9:19 and we're back, biatches. Okay. Guest Actor and Guest Actress. Ann-Margret and...John Lithgow won for this. I'm really really really disappointed that Elizabeth Mitchell didn't win. Juliet was my favorite character.

Okay, Ann-Margret and John Lithgow are presenting a directing award. Ann-Margret looks a bit like Charo. Steve Shill looks like Adam Shankman. Okay, I know Lost isn't winning...yup, it's Steve Shill aka Adam Shankman. WAIT. HE'S A DEXTER DIRECTOR. OKAY. I'M DUMB. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

George Clooney in 17 minutes, says the TV. A musical tribute to the three shows ending done by Elton John. Omg, this is actually hilarious. And we're only on 24. DAVID PALMER. :D Good times, man.

Jimmy Fallon is doing Law and Order. I loved Law and Order. I loved Jesse L. Martin. I'm actually really sad that Law and Order is ending.

OMG. LOST. LOST. LOST. I'm obsessed, how could you tell? Wait, I think these are all Jimmy Fallon. He just did a really good Matthew Fox impersonation. Omg, I'm really enjoying this parody.

HEY! IT'S SYTYCD HOST CAT DEELEY IN THE AUDIENCE! Okay, so it's 9:27, and I'm gonna drink some hot chocolate. Yay!!

I'm back. It's like 9:30ish. Matthew Morrison and Tina Fey (I wrote that as Tiny Fay) as first. Oustanding Drama Actress. And of course, there are more innuendos.

I WANT JANUARY JONES TO WIN. Because she has a cool name. And also, because I think she should win. Kyra Sedwick won...okay. From now on, if I predict something is going to win, chances are it's not. Like, seriously. I used to have a flare for this sort of thing and now I just suck. Kyra Sedwick loves to talk...seriously.

She's done.

OMG. THAT FUCKING GUITAR. WAIT. STEPHEN COLBERT. YAY. LOVE. Variety programming. I really don't like all the singing. All I have to say for this is: GO COCO!
Pmg. Jon Stewart is hilarious. And Stephen Colbert.

OMG. RHAPSODY IN BLUE! That's actually amazing. Like...that was lovely.

Okay. Writing for a Variety Show. The Academy Awards, Bill Maher, The Kennedy Center Honors (what?), the Tonys, Wanda Sykes (she's hilarious. I love her). It went to the Tonys, which apparently have been around longer than the Emmys. Who knew?

"Not I!" said Steve Carrell. What was that? 2007 Emmys? Does anyone remember? Okay, I'm an hour and fourty minutes in, at the moment. WOW. I'M MORE THAN HALF WAY DONE. WHOOO. Just letting you know, never doing this again.

9:41. A break. Whoohoo. Oh no. We're going into the montage of the dead people after this commercial break. I might just cry.

9:45 and we're back. RICKY GERVAIS. I hope he hosts the Golden Globes. He's so funny. Aha, he's giving out free alcoholic drinks to the audience.

Directing for Variety. And I don't care. But Ricky Gervais seems really really really excited about this dude for some reason. Okay, he directed the opening ceremony for the 2010 Olympics...wow, that was pretty. Yeah, he definitely deserved to win. 3000 people worked for NBC on the Olympics?

Wow. That's a lot. OOH. RICKY'S GONNA TALK AGAIN.

Best Variety Show? Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Bill Maher, SNL, COCO'S SHOW...and GOd, I miss Coco. I miss Coco so much. I loved that show.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart! He's hilarious. And apparently Team Jacob. Oh, he couldn't be here tonight because of...some reason. That's sad. No wonder there was no Colbert/Stewart skit-ish.

9:54. Another break. We're coming toward the end here, I think. I mean, Variety is done, Comedy is basically done, as is Drama, Reality is done...There are five categories/parts I think they said? I dunno. But it's almost ten so...yeah.

Boardwalk Empire looks like an amazing show.

9:58. We're back again. Okay, so the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award is going to George Clooney. So, I'm gonna go to the bathroom during George Clooney's speech. I mean, I love George Clooney and everything but...I can't wait to till the next commercial break. I'll be back.

10:01. He hasn't even started speaking yet. He just made some not funny joke about being sick. A little tactless, considering Michael C. Hall is there. Oh wow, this isn't a funny speech. But, it's a very moving speech. My viewing partner is currently giggling at something that ISN'T funny.

George Clooney just told us we failed. And that he failed. This is an incredibly moving speech. And he got cut off mid speech. OMG. THAT FUCKING GUITAR.

Oh wait, Mini-Series and Movies. I totally forgot about this. Harrison Ford thinks losing is not an option. Nelson Mandela must be released. Temple is autstic. The moon is goregeous. Euthanizing is bad. Georgia O'Keefe is something. The Pacific and one that I missed are dramatic.

There's crying.

January Jones and John Krasinski. There could not be two more random people to give this award. January Jones's dress is UGLY. It ain't got no alibi. It's ugly. It's ugly.

Suporting Actress. I say Cathrine O'Hara. And I was wrong. SHOCKER. Julie Ormand wins. My viewing buddy is singing about raccoons. Julie Ormand is trying to thank her competitors. My viewing buddy is singing a nameless tune and I wonder what being an Emmy model is like.

And Julie Ormand is getting the "get the hell off the stage" music. Okay, and we're back on break. The time is 10:10. NBC is pushing a lot of pilots. Probably because a lot of their shows are failling.

I wonder how long this blog post is...we're back. The time is 10:14. Claire Danes...she's come a long way. She looks a lot like Heidi Klum right now. Supporting Actor.

Any of these actors can win. Seriously. David Strath...something or other won for Temple Grandin. Temple Grandin looks really good. I really want to see it now. Some guy in the audience is wearing some MJ esque getup. Aww, see, why isn't Hollywood so involved with Autism awareness? That's what I don't get.

Okay. The dead montage. I'm going to cry now. I don't know who this is. I kinda sounds like Kristen Chenowith...but I have a feeling some of my savvier friends are going to hit me upon reading this post.

ROY DISNEY DIED? SOUPY SALES DIED? JEAN SIMMONS DIED? PETER GRAVES DIED? ROPERT CULP DIED? I think I've been living under a rock. Corey Haim. DD8 My viewing partner doesn't know who he is.

John Forsythe died? AM I JUST STUPID OR LIVING UNDER A ROCK? I think it's some combination of the two. DIXIE CARTER DIED? LYNN REDGRAVE DIED? LENA HORNE DIED. Aww, Dennis Hopper. :(

I am proud of myself for not crying. The time is 10:21. I'm taking another break to recollect myself.

10:25. Oh wait. That was Jewel.

Next is a writing award.

The Pacific, The Pacific, The Special Relationship, Temple Grandin, You Don't Know Jack...probably the-you know what? Nevermind. I keep being wrong. Okay, You Don't Know Jack won. Now, I just have to wonder if they're behind schedule. Supposedly, there's half an hour left. Supposedly. Aww, I think he just mentioned a dead person, but I wasn't paying attention.

LEAD ACTRESS. I say Claire Danes. Because...well, it's kinda obvious. OMG. I WAS RIGHT. WAIT A SECOND. IS SHE DATING ORLANDO BLOOM? DID SHE JUST LOCK LIPS WITH ORLANDO BLOOM?

"Lyke 4 srs". Claire Danes actually just said that. Wow, I can't believe this is Beth from Little Women. It doesn't sound like her. Oh wait. That's Temple wearing the MJ esque get up. Aww, now I feel bad for insulting her. MY BAD. Okay, we're over by...26 minutes. Or seconds. One of those two.

10:34. We're back from another break. The cast of True Blood. A show that I've never seen. Directin, now.

Georgia O'Keefe, The Pacific, The Pacific, Temple Grandin, You Don't Know Jack...I'mma say You Don't Know Jack. OMG. HOW AM I WRONG AGAIN? I give up with these speeches. Because they're all to Temple which is nice.

Ricky Gervais's beer was non alcholic.

OMG. Lead Actor. Let's go. AL PACINO. YAAAAY! I didn't call that one because I didn't have time. My viewing buddy's computer is infected. Al Pacino CLEARLY doesn't have a speech and he looks like Robert Downey Jr. in Sherlock Holmes at the moment. And it's so hard to tell that he was ever Michael Corleone. At least, he doesn't look like he did in '72. '71?

10:41. Another commercial. I don't see how we're gonna be done in 19 minutes. It's not happening. Also, The Event looks sucky and I see Graham Bauer.

Laurence Fishburne. Outstanding Miniseries is being announced.

I say The Pacific. I WAS RIGHT. GLORY HALLELUJAH. My viewing partner just did a lovely Forrest Gump impersonation.

Made for TV Movie. Hasn't the Georgia O'Keefe movie been on for years? I say Temple Grandin...WOW. TWO IN A ROW. HOLY SHIT. IF I GET EVERYTHING RIGHT FROM HERE ON OUT I WILL BE SHOCKED.

Okay. Thank you, Hollywood, for addressing the fact that autism is an issue that needs to be addressed. Outstanding Drama Series in 1 minute (according to the TV). Aww, it's Temple's birthday! That's adorable! Oh wait, they're playing the "get the hell off of the stage music".

LAST TWO AWARDS OF THE NIGHT. OW OW. Tom Selleck is presenting the award for Best Drama. Now, I hope with my entire that Lost will win. But I know it won't. I know it won't. And I graciously admit that Lost won't win.

I say Breaking Bad or Mad Men will win. So...yeah. Mad Men. Lost bows out of its final, fantastic season, without any Emmy to it's name whatsoever. And I am a very embittered Lost fan. Whatever. Not paying attention to the speech anymore.

So, apparently it IS 26 seconds that we were overboard. I'm okay with that. UGGH. JANUARY JONES'S DRESS IS SO UGLY.

10:52. Another commercial break. I'm gonna be very bitter for a little bit about Lost not winning. But I guess the impact of the finale was Lost on people that don't watch it, which I assume is most of the Academy. Or, many Lost fans were pissed about how it ended without answering so many questions. Either way...I don't think I've ever heard of a show in it's final season NOT wining everything. Well, this is now the "Lost" syndrome.

I had a feeling this was coming when Elizabeth Mitchell didn't win for best guest actress. She was fantastic. I loved every minute she was on screen.

10:56. Last award of the night. And the last announcer is...who? I'm confused. Okay, I say Modern Family. I do. That would also make me our in a row.

OMG. I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT NEARLY EVERYTHING WRONG UNTIL THE VERY END. This is so unreal!

I'd like to thank the Academy for giving me precognative skills. It's 10:57, and I'm not listening to this final speech.

PEACE! I'm not doing this again!

In which I concede defeat to Nick Jonas, and Japanese Eponines are better than the English ones...

For those of you who know me well-enough to hear my real-life exploits, I recently went to a Jonas Brothers concert. Well, it was more than a concert. It was a sound-check, a meet and greet, and a concert.

It was so much fun. And honestly, for all the negativity I had toward them prior to this concert, they aren't that bad. I believe a lot of the negativity toward them is more centered toward their alignment with Disney.

They can't change this, however. And honestly, I don't think they should. Because, as we've all seen, bad things happen to people who start with Disney, and then try to leave. The only exception of this rule, I think is Justin Timberlake. And Nick Jonas, who has a solid career on Broadway and another band. Or at least, I think it's another band. The Administration I think is also his, or he's a part of it because he has a twitter for news for The Administration. [/I am not a freaky stalker]

Okay. Now that I put that disclaimer, I now have to quote the first thing that popped into my head when I wrote that. "I AM NOT A FREAKY FISH GUY!"

Obscure reference out of the way. Back to Disney.

So. My theory that people who try to leave Disney are kinda sorta screwed. Exhibits A-C: Brittney Spears, Christina Agulera (or however the fuck you spell her last name), and Lindsey Lohan.

Exhibit A: Was a former Mousketer (is that how you spell that?). She leaves Disney, and becomes successful for the late part of the 90s/early part of the 00s. And then shit hits the fan. We're all familiar with Brittney's exploits over the past couple of years. Need I say more?

Exhibit B: Was also a former Mouseketer (again, cbf to spell). Now, Christina is actually not that bad in terms of what happened to her, and the only thing she's having trouble with is relaunching her career. She's tried several times, and I consider every time a smashing success because I love her and a lot of the songs she puts out. Candyman? Aint No Other Man? Hurt?

Love her. But my point is, she was with Disney, and now she can't keep her music career afloat.

Exhibit C: Lindsay Lohan. Need I really say more? She went from this, a bright, innocent girl whose claim to fame was Parent Trap, a Disney movie and she was much beloved. From there, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (is that what that movie's called or am I mixing it up with Confessions of a Shopaholic?), and Herbie: Fully Loaded. Both which were Disney movies. And yes, she did other movies, but when I think Lindsay Lohan, those are the first three I think of.

But then she turned into this. Again, Lindsay is another one whose exploits are well-known by pop culture loving America. After she tried to leave Disney.

People are starting to say that Miley Cyrus will head down this course. Miley's strings with Disney are loose at best. We will just have to see what she looks like in five years. Although...after seeing the 'Can't Be Tamed' music video, I'm worried.

Do with these facts what you will. Jonas Brothers, STAY THE COURSE!

Now, I'm gonna go to the first part of my title for this blog post. That's right, Nick Jonas. I concede defeat. You are, in my eyes, an acceptable Marius. Actually, you're beyond acceptable.

Wait. I have to correct a mistake I made in one of my earlier blog posts. I said that the 25th Anniversary Concert CD would be made available for purchase. I mistook it for the 25th Anniversary World Tour. As far as I know (read: according to Wikipedia) there are no plans to make a 25th Anniversary Concert CD at the moment. Sorry about that.

Back to Nick Jonas. Why am I conceding defeat to Nick Jonas? Well...I have two reasons actually. The first is this. Are you done listening? Did you really expect that from Nick Jonas? I certainly didn't! As far as Marius goes, I think he's got the role down pat. He's no David Bryant, but that's because I'm biased.

So, Nick Jonas? I apologize for assuming your casting was just a publicity thing. I didn't realize you were actually talented.

The second reason is because of something I saw when I met him in person at the meet and greet. I asked him what it was like to be in Les Miserables. And he smiled at me (it was an open mouthed smile!), and a light went on his eyes. I would just like to say that this is impressive because Nick Jonas never smiles. Somebody told me it was because he hates the way his teeth look. I feel kinda bad for the poor kid.

Anyway, I saw how much Les Miserables meant to him. It was...that look in his eyes, that pride, and that sense of accomplishment that Les Miserables was something he did without his brothers, without Disney, just him. I also think part of the reason he smiled was that I didn't ask him to marry me.

SPEAKING OF JOBROS OBSESSION. When we were at the meet and greet, the dancers from Camp Rock 2 were there, and I saw Allyson Stoner and she did the 'Mike's Super Short Show' thing and it was awesome. Also, there was this girl who was asking Frankie Jonas a question and she was actually hyperventilating and couldn't spit the words out. And Frankie just stood their with this "WTF?" look plastered all over his face. I wish I had a picture.

I do have an awesome picture of Kevin, though. It was a proud, picture-taking moment for me. Wanna see?



I have all sorts of really creepy, up close pictures of them from the sound check. I wish I had been that close during the concert, although I had a feeling I would've gone deaf. The screaming was just completely unreal.

Okay. Now to the second part of my post, which is relatively short in comparison. Now, I bet you're thinking to yourselves, "Now, why are Japanese Eponines better than the English ones"? I'll tell you.

Okay, I actually don't know. But, on Tuesday, I bought the Complete Symphonic Recording of Les Miserables, which was done in 1988, and complies some great actors and come I couldn't care less for (I'm look at you, Gary Morris and Michael Ball!), all from international productions of Les Mis that were playing at the time.

The Eponine in this particular version is some chick by the name of Kaho Shimada, who was in the Tokyo Production at some point. I don't think I'm supposed to know who that is. Now, apparently, she learned English just so she could do this recording. It doesn't show. Okay, it kinda shows, but I think she's significantly better than Frances Ruffelle from the Original Broadway Cast.

Decide for yourself.

However, my personal favorite is Lea Salonga, who was Eponine (if you do decide to watch the link, BRACE YOURSELF for the loud introduction of the barricade) in the 1995 Dream Cast Concert. You probably know her better as Mulan's singing voice. She's my favorite.

Oh yeah. As a Glee fan, I probably should count Lea Michele's rendition in there somewhere. First, I have to find a version of her that's not from Glee just because the interspersed dialogue ruins the song in my eyes.

Y'know, God Bless crazy obsessed fans that post videos on YouTube. Lea Michele is a talented actress. Just...not a talented TV actress. I can't really figure out how that makes sense, since I think stage acting is so much harder (like I'd have any experience otherwise?)...but whatever. The Emmys are on tomorrow-wait. It's Sunday. OMG THEY'RE ON TONIGHT.

Right, so Lea Michele. Umm, she's good. Like, she's really talented. See? See how talented she is? I was just about to make another reference to Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, but where I was going...it just sounded really creepy.

Well, that's pretty much all I have to say except...VIVA LA TEAM COCO!

Have fun watching the Emmys tonight, kids! PEACE.

PS> Mia Michaels did the Emmy Award for Outstanding Choreography. Elizabeth Mitchell did not win. Rage will ensue tomorrow/later tonight.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I think we can put our differences behind us...for science...you monster.

This has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm about to talk about. Although I will say this: the Portal 2 trailer scares me. But in an awesome way. And I have to wonder how GLADoS is still alive after all that.

Well, really, you only destroyed her morality core, her curiousity core, some other cores that I don't remember the names of. In essence, you destroy her personality, but that doesn't really destroy her, you know what I'm saying?

Anyway, it's late, and I just finished my AP Psych project. I really don't know why I decided that procrastinating was a good idea. Let's start with that. Secondly, you wanna know what makes an awesome project even awesomer?

Arrested Development quotes. See, my project was on illusions and if you are any sort of fan of that glorious show, the quote that popped into your head when you read the word 'illusion' was the quote I put on my project.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm too tired to finish this post. But instead of saying the traditional Portal meme, like I should, I'mma close with this:

THE CAKE IS FO REALZ!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

RiRi...GURL. YOU IS A GLUTTON FO PUNISHMENT O SOMETHIN'.

WARNING: The following post is incredibly grammatically incorrect. Also, I don't own any of the songs that I quote the lyrics to.

Ladies and gentlemen, I was driving home from the absymal world that is SAT class, and I heard these lyrics on the radio:

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
But that's all right because I like the way it burns."

Rihanna, Riri...what is going on witchoo gurl? Are you tellin' the world that you got some deep, pyschological scarring from Chris Brown? Remember your rude boy? Chris Brown? Him? Yeah.

Yo songs haven't been quite the same since then girl. And I think...I think you need to sit yo ass down and do some deep, heavy, thinking before you agree to songs that make you just sound like a glutton for punishment.

Now, for those of you who are like, "What the hell is she talkin' 'bout?", let me explain.

As anyone who hasn't been living under a rock knows, Rihanna was assaulted by Chris Brown back in February 2009. Ever since then, her songs have some...extremely questionable lyrics in them.

Example? The entire song Russian Roulette, her first single after the incident (at least, according to Wikipedia). Which...if you listen to the whole song, sounds like a metaphor for domestic abuse. However, there's one particular verse in the song that made me go, "OH, SHIT! RIRI! GIRL!" And that's this:

"As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering if I will ever see another sunrise
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's to late to think of the value of my life"

Now, I can't say I've ever been through a domestic abuse, or abuse of any kind. But I do understand that it's traumatizing. And I know that like, she chose to come back or whatever, but I feel like maybe she should've taken more time off. Seen a counselor. Or something. This sounds...well,depressing really. She needs a friend. I'm sure she has friends, or people who call themselves her friends, but does she really have a friend? Y'know what I'm saying?

Whatever, next song. The next single she came out with was "Hard", which isn't really all that alarming because it's like an empowerment song or whatever (I think this song is the reason why everyone but me assumes she's okay). However, the song is just...I dunno. I think there's a better way to say that you're tough that isn't "I'm so hard". But then, there's this line:

"I can’t just let you run up on me like that (all up on me like that) yeah". Run up? Second defition of 'run up' on Urban Dictionary.com is "1.The first motion in a physical altercation, the opening stage of a fight. 2.acceleration toward someone with intent to harm." What do you say to that, Chris Brown? What do you say to that?

Haha, look at me talking to these people like they're actually reading my blog. -snort-

At any rate, there was that. THEN, came Rude Boy. Where to start with Rude Boy? Where to start with Rude Boy?

"Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me"

There. Right there. That's where to start with Rude Boy. Now, take a long hard look at that. What do you see? I see confidence, softness, more confidence...UTTER DESPIRATION. Lord have mercy, Rihanna! This is a woman who does not feel confident that someone will love her unless she lives a lie!

Then, there's this, the only other part worth mentioning because the rest of it is about...getting it on with her Rude Boy:

"I like the way you touch me there
I like the way you pull my hair
Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking
No, no
"

You know what I think when I hear that line? I think to myself, "Riri likes it rough. Damn. Maybe she and Chris Brown got into a little foreplay before the Grammys and just took it too far." Not to trivalize what happened to her. I'm sure it was really traumatic. That's just what that line makes me think.

Aww, now I feel like a bad person and I almost don't want to finish this post now...but I will. I have to finish because I feel obligated. And somehow, this got "A Dios Le Pido" stuck in my head. I love that song.

Right, so next came "Te Amo" and "Rockstar 101", neither of which I've heard, but I looked up the lyrics to see if there's anything alarming in them.

Rockstar 101 has this gem: "Six inch walker, Big shit talker, I never play the victim
I'd rather be a stalker". All I have to say to that is Chris Brown, you betta watch yoself, son.

Te Amo has this ge-wait. The entire song, actually. Which is here. Yeaaaah. Replace the 'she' with 'Chris Brown', and 'I' with...well, actually you can just leave 'I'. And there you have it. Okay, this music video is freaking me out. Also, apparently, Riri is a bisexual. I didn't know that.

Moving on.

Now, these are just singles that Rihanna released as Rihanna on her own, and not featured with any other artist. For that, we first have the EPIC Jay-Z and Rihanna collaboration of Run This Town.

...Okay, there's arguably nothing wrong or alarming with this song. NEXT!

The song that I posted at the beginning of this blog. Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna. Just the title of the song...and you know you're in for a treat. However, this song, at its core, is about an abusive relationship. But...let's harken back to the lyrics I posted at the top of this blog.

"That's all right because I like the way it hurts". Yeah. That one. It alarms me in ways that it probably shouldn't alarm me because I'm probably reading too much into this. However, I think there was a better way to...express the right emotions in the song without giving her such alarming lines so soon after such a deeply shocking, personal tragedy.

And also, it gave us the dumbest line to date in rap history: "Guess that's why they call it window pane". Oh, Eminem. There's just...something really wrong with that line. Everybody giggles at it. In what is otherwise a profound, if not incredibly disturbing song.

So yeah...that's Rihanna. As promised, "A Dios Le Pido"!