RiRi...GURL. YOU IS A GLUTTON FO PUNISHMENT O SOMETHIN'.

WARNING: The following post is incredibly grammatically incorrect. Also, I don't own any of the songs that I quote the lyrics to.

Ladies and gentlemen, I was driving home from the absymal world that is SAT class, and I heard these lyrics on the radio:

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
But that's all right because I like the way it burns."

Rihanna, Riri...what is going on witchoo gurl? Are you tellin' the world that you got some deep, pyschological scarring from Chris Brown? Remember your rude boy? Chris Brown? Him? Yeah.

Yo songs haven't been quite the same since then girl. And I think...I think you need to sit yo ass down and do some deep, heavy, thinking before you agree to songs that make you just sound like a glutton for punishment.

Now, for those of you who are like, "What the hell is she talkin' 'bout?", let me explain.

As anyone who hasn't been living under a rock knows, Rihanna was assaulted by Chris Brown back in February 2009. Ever since then, her songs have some...extremely questionable lyrics in them.

Example? The entire song Russian Roulette, her first single after the incident (at least, according to Wikipedia). Which...if you listen to the whole song, sounds like a metaphor for domestic abuse. However, there's one particular verse in the song that made me go, "OH, SHIT! RIRI! GIRL!" And that's this:

"As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering if I will ever see another sunrise
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's to late to think of the value of my life"

Now, I can't say I've ever been through a domestic abuse, or abuse of any kind. But I do understand that it's traumatizing. And I know that like, she chose to come back or whatever, but I feel like maybe she should've taken more time off. Seen a counselor. Or something. This sounds...well,depressing really. She needs a friend. I'm sure she has friends, or people who call themselves her friends, but does she really have a friend? Y'know what I'm saying?

Whatever, next song. The next single she came out with was "Hard", which isn't really all that alarming because it's like an empowerment song or whatever (I think this song is the reason why everyone but me assumes she's okay). However, the song is just...I dunno. I think there's a better way to say that you're tough that isn't "I'm so hard". But then, there's this line:

"I can’t just let you run up on me like that (all up on me like that) yeah". Run up? Second defition of 'run up' on Urban Dictionary.com is "1.The first motion in a physical altercation, the opening stage of a fight. 2.acceleration toward someone with intent to harm." What do you say to that, Chris Brown? What do you say to that?

Haha, look at me talking to these people like they're actually reading my blog. -snort-

At any rate, there was that. THEN, came Rude Boy. Where to start with Rude Boy? Where to start with Rude Boy?

"Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me"

There. Right there. That's where to start with Rude Boy. Now, take a long hard look at that. What do you see? I see confidence, softness, more confidence...UTTER DESPIRATION. Lord have mercy, Rihanna! This is a woman who does not feel confident that someone will love her unless she lives a lie!

Then, there's this, the only other part worth mentioning because the rest of it is about...getting it on with her Rude Boy:

"I like the way you touch me there
I like the way you pull my hair
Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking
No, no"

You know what I think when I hear that line? I think to myself, "Riri likes it rough. Damn. Maybe she and Chris Brown got into a little foreplay before the Grammys and just took it too far." Not to trivalize what happened to her. I'm sure it was really traumatic. That's just what that line makes me think.

Aww, now I feel like a bad person and I almost don't want to finish this post now...but I will. I have to finish because I feel obligated. And somehow, this got "A Dios Le Pido" stuck in my head. I love that song.

Right, so next came "Te Amo" and "Rockstar 101", neither of which I've heard, but I looked up the lyrics to see if there's anything alarming in them.

Rockstar 101 has this gem: "Six inch walker, Big shit talker, I never play the victim
I'd rather be a stalker". All I have to say to that is Chris Brown, you betta watch yoself, son.

Te Amo has this ge-wait. The entire song, actually. Which is here. Yeaaaah. Replace the 'she' with 'Chris Brown', and 'I' with...well, actually you can just leave 'I'. And there you have it. Okay, this music video is freaking me out. Also, apparently, Riri is a bisexual. I didn't know that.

Moving on.

Now, these are just singles that Rihanna released as Rihanna on her own, and not featured with any other artist. For that, we first have the EPIC Jay-Z and Rihanna collaboration of Run This Town.

...Okay, there's arguably nothing wrong or alarming with this song. NEXT!

The song that I posted at the beginning of this blog. Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna. Just the title of the song...and you know you're in for a treat. However, this song, at its core, is about an abusive relationship. But...let's harken back to the lyrics I posted at the top of this blog.

"That's all right because I like the way it hurts". Yeah. That one. It alarms me in ways that it probably shouldn't alarm me because I'm probably reading too much into this. However, I think there was a better way to...express the right emotions in the song without giving her such alarming lines so soon after such a deeply shocking, personal tragedy.

And also, it gave us the dumbest line to date in rap history: "Guess that's why they call it window pane". Oh, Eminem. There's just...something really wrong with that line. Everybody giggles at it. In what is otherwise a profound, if not incredibly disturbing song.

So yeah...that's Rihanna. As promised, "A Dios Le Pido"!